khas utk awk

Sahabat yang beriman ibarat mentari
yang menyinar. Sahabat yang setia bagai pewangi yang mengharumkan.
Sahabat sejati menjadi pendorong impian. Sahabat berhati mulia membawa
kita ke jalan Allah.

and i wouldnt want to trade you for anythin else in this world, for you're one of the precious gifts to me.
thanx for everythin mekcah.
this might sound cliche, but yeah, i miss you a lot!

i guess you understand me even more than i do.
awak tau bila kt tak okay bila orang lain tak pernah sedar pon.
and you simply know how to make me feel better with HIS words.
thank you for being you.
and thank you for always bringing me near to HIM, the great Almighty.


so, please stay with me and stand by me.
because i always need sumone like you in my life.

sy sayang ini budak!

Tg Aru, Sabah.
070709

p/s: rindu nak gado and dgr awk membebel!



Ikhlas,

Yang Jauh Di Mata.

medical remedy.

salam.

the awesome 4 weeks filled with joy and laughter has just ended. somehow, i miss having you guys around. had a really great time dengan korang. to my dearest ex groupmates, good luck in evrything you do alryte. eventhough we're not in the same group anymo, we'll still be seeing each other in college kann. and and semoga ukhuwah persahabatan antara kita kekal selamanya, insyaAllah. =))

the precious moments!

a future-dokturah-to-be. insyaAllah. =)

Berkata Imam Shafie "tidak aku melihat ilmu
yg paling afdhal selepas mana ilmu syariah spt mana ilmu perubatan. Jika ingin berpindah ke suatu kawasan tentukan ada 2 golongan iaitu ulama &doktor kerana kita sentiasa memerlukan mereka.

*kata-kata semangat from mama dearest*

being a doctor is a 'fardhu kifayah'. its a BIG resposibility that i have to carry. amanah yg akan dipersoalkan di hari pengadilan kelak. insyaAllah, ill do my very best. i want to make changes in people's lives, for it has always been part of my dreams. i want to become a successful muslimah doctor with a holistic approach, insyaAllah. one fine day, shahira! doakan saya ya! =)

Pavlova.

20 with love. thank you Allah. :))

these are made by shifaa dearest. thanx awk!

isnt she the sweetest thing. terharu!

they who came; shifaa, man, hyder, agy.
<3

turning twentyy.

my eldest sister's first attempt in baking cake. and it turned out awesome and yummylicious.
thank you dearest kakak! adik loves you!

birthday dinner with the loved ones, the complete Eleven. <3

i craved for Pavlova, and tadaa.. ;)

lotsa love!

the adorable creature! <3

Biarkan berlalu
Semua kepedihanmu
Lelapkan matamu
Biarkan mimpi membawamu
Ke mana kau mahu
Selamat malam

080510

salam.
so, it was my birthday. the day im turning 20. as i grow older, a birthday is actually nothing really important to me. but maybe not to anyone else. i dont really mind if i dont get suprise party from the people i love, i dont mind if there are no birthday presents. i used to get all excited to all these things, but i can no longer feel the excitement. its true. no longer hoping. no longer waiting like how i used to back then. but i do believe, its the thought that counts. its the prayers from you people that i need. and i appreciate it when people remember. especially the one who are dear(s) and near to my heart. thats all. and the thing that i wont deny, i would get upset and a lil disappointed if these people forget. because i used to get warm wishes from these same people every year, which makes me feel that im always remembered. =)

alhamdulillah, Allah has granted most of my wishes. and I thank Allah for that. I keep on reminding myself, jadilah hamba-Nya yang sentiasa bersyukur kerana sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa memberikan yg terbaik utk hambaNya.
semoga dengan peningkatan usia, kt akan lebih dkt dgnNya, insyaAllah.

im grateful to be with my loved ones on the day im turning 20 since thats one of my wishes.
thanks to my family for always bringing out the best in me. i love you!

and the day im turning 20 is the day i shall remember forever for its the day one of wonderful and special people in my life returned to Allah. Allah loves him more. Al-fatihah.

the greatest of all.

salam.
something really meaningful to share. took it from a junior, and it touches my heart deeply. sama-sama kita renungkan, insyaAllah. =)

Surat Sayang Dari ALLAH SWT

Saat kau bangun pagi hari, AKU memandangmu dan
berharap engkau akan berbicara kepada KU, walaupun
hanya sepatah kata meminta pendapatKU atau bersyukur
kepada KU atas sesuatu hal yang indah yang terjadi
dalam hidupmu hari ini atau kemarin .......

Tetapi AKU melihat engkau begitu sibuk mempersiapkan
diri untuk pergi bekerja ........
AKU kembali menanti saat engkau sedang bersiap, AKU
tahu akan ada sedikit waktu bagimu untuk berhenti
dan menyapaKU, tetapi engkau terlalu sibuk ..........

Disatu tempat, engkau duduk disebuah kursi selama
lima belas menit tanpa melakukan apapun. Kemudian
AKU
Melihat engkau menggeerakkan kakimu. AKU berfikir
engkau akan berbicara kepadaKU tetapi engkau berlari
ke telephone dan menghubungi seorang teman untuk
mendengarkan kabar terbaru.

AKU melihatmu ketika engkau pergi bekerja dan AKU
menanti dengan sabar sepanjang hari. Dengan semua
kegiatanmu AKU berfikir engkau terlalu sibuk
mengucapkan sesuatu kepadaKU.

Sebelum makan siang AKU melihatmu memandang
sekeliling, mungkin engkau merasa malu untuk
berbicara kepadaKU, itulah sebabnya mengapa engkau
tidak
menundukkan kepalamu.
Engkau memandang tiga atau empat meja sekitarmu dan
melihat beberapa temanmu berbicara dan menyebut
namaKU dengan lembut sebelum menyantap rizki yang
AKU
berikan, tetapi engkau tidak melakukannya ........
masih ada waktu yang tersisa dan AKU berharap engkau
akan
berbicara kepadaKU, meskipun saat engkau pulang
kerumah kelihatannya seakan-akan banyak hal yang
harus kau kerjakan.

Setelah tugasmu selesai, engkau menyalakan TV,
engkau menghabiskan banyak waktu setiap hari
didepannya,
tanpa memikirkan apapun dan hanya menikmati acara yg
ditampilkan. Kembali AKU menanti dengan sabar saat
engkau menonton TV dan menikmati makananmu tetapi
kembali kau tidak berbicara kepadaKU ..........

Saat tidur, KU pikir kau merasa terlalu lelah.
Setelah mengucapkan selamat malam kepada keluargamu,
kau melompat ketempat tidur dan tertidur tanpa
sepatahpun namaKU, kau sebut. Engkau menyadari bahwa
AKU selalu hadir untukmu.

AKU telah bersabar lebih lama dari yang kau sadari.
AKU bahkan ingin mengajarkan bagaimana bersabar
terhadap orang lain. AKU sangat menyayangimu, setiap
hari AKU menantikan sepatah kata, do'a, pikiran atau
syukur dari hatimu.

Keesokan harinya ...... engkau bangun kembali dan
kembali AKU menanti dengan penuh kasih bahwa hari
ini kau akan memberiku sedikit waktu untuk menyapaKU
........Tapi yang KU tunggu ........ tak kunjung tiba
...... tak juga kau menyapaKU.

Subuh ........ zuhur ....... Asar ...........
Maghrib .......... Isya dan Subuh kembali, kau masih
mengacuhkan AKU .....
tak ada sepatah kata, tak ada seucap do'a, dan tak
ada rasa, tak ada harapan dan keinginan untuk
bersujud kepadaKU ...........

Apa salahKU padamu ...... wahai hambaKU?????
Rizki yang KU limpahkan, kesehatan yang KU berikan,
harta yang KU relakan, makanan yang KU hidangkan,
anak-anak yang
KUrahmatkan, apakah hal itu tidak membuatmu ingat
kepadaKU ............ ..!!!!!!!

Percayalah AKU selalu mengasihimu, dan AKU tetap
berharap suatu saat engkau akan menyapa KU, memohon
perlindungan KU, bersujud menghadap KU ....... Yang
selalu menyertaimu setiap saat ..........

Note :
apakah kita memiliki cukup waktu untuk mengirimkan surat ini kepada orang2
yang kita sayangi???
Untuk mengingatkan mereka bahwa segala apapun yang kita terima hingga saat ini, datangnya hanya dari ALLAH semata ...

salam..
i'm finally home, and officially on a month break. Alhamdulillah, everything went well, and i passed my very first professional exam. syukran. couldnt ask for more. thank you Allah for everything. =)

8 modules(2 years syllabus)+1 week revision+2 weeks of study weeks+3 days of exam+a day of waiting for results to be out = palpitation, tachycardia, enough to drive me up on the wall.
alhamdulillah everythin's over now, for the time being at least. its time to take a break. lets take a chill pill, people. pheww.

it really gave me a huge impact this time. nothin like stress. okay, tipu. i kept on telling myself that i'm forever stress-free, when it comes to exam and i never want to get stress especially when exams so freaking near. simply because everything starts to become all serabut the moment the stress is there. when people ask me whether i'm stress or tak, i would answer: its a choice to be stressful. you decide whether you want to be one or not! anyhoo,this time, its a really HUGE thing to me. its not a burden, but more to responsibilities that i've to carry. and this time, evrything changed. not only a pre-exam syndromes but also post-exam syndromes as well. the syndromes even persist through out the journey. sgt dasyat tak tipu.


everythins jumbled up.
candida albicans vs corpus albicans
tinea coli vs tinea solium
tunica vaginalis vs trichomonas vaginalis.
yadayadayada. its fun though. hilarious! gonna miss these precious moments, Big time!

glad its over. glad i managed to get thru it, with Allah's will, and with the help of others. and im sooo grateful and overwhelmed for having wonderful people in my life, my dearest family and friends and their never-ending support and prayers. seriously, i couldnt ask for more, dear Allah. thank you thank you thank you for everything. Alhamdulillah. =)




Al-Baqarah [152] Oleh itu ingatlah kamu kepadaKu (dengan mematuhi hukum dan undang-undangKu), supaya Aku membalas kamu dengan kebaikan dan bersyukurlah kamu kepadaKu dan janganlah kamu kufur (akan nikmatKu).

Al-Baqarah(186) "Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu (wahai Muhammmad) tentang Aku, (maka jawablah) sesungguhnya Aku ini dekat, Aku menjawab seruan orang yang berdoa kepadaKu apabila dia berdoa. Maka hendaklah dia menjawab seruanKu (menunaikan perintahKu) dan beriman kepadaKu, agar supaya mereka selalu berada di atas petunjuk”

to my dearest housemates, and study group mates(raden,tira, iylman, mel, muadz, naqib, desh), congratulations guys! glad we made it together. you people are the best! zillion thanks. you guys have been helping me a lot,hanya Allah yg dpt balas jasa korang. loves!

and to my other friends who didnt make it this time, best wishes to each of you. our prayers will always be with you, insyaAllah. we're rite behind you! :D

shall see you guys in june alryte. be prepared for another tough years ahead and welcome to CLINICAL YEARS. lets do this together! =)


p/s: khas utk kwn2 subang, dan sesiapa sahaja yg sedang berjuang utk final, buat elok2 kay. kt doakan korang, insyaAllah. selamat berjuang and cepatlah pulang semua orang. rindu please! *hugs*

the 'i' and the 'you' with 'they' in btwn.

especially to 'they'..

K.E,A,R,I,M,Q!! its been 2 years. 2 freaking years, 'they'! but 2 years don't bring any, even slight lil changes to the 'i' and the 'you' where 'they' always play the biggest role in between. how funny when the two freaking years dont seem to mean anything at all but only 24 months. and the 'i' came to realise that there's forever dragonfly in the tummy. and no matter how ridiculous it might sound, reality bites sumhow. however, the 'i' so need to get back into reality. of melodrama, bittersweet symphony~ at the end of the day, its the story between the 'i' and 'you'. =)

and the rest is history..

covalent bond.

my one and only mokna. =)

today, i realised my one and only baby sista who's always been pampered by her parents and siblings, who never got tired fullfilling all her wishes, high demand requests, cravings, etc and melayan kemanjaan baby girl yg sorang ni, who's even manja-er than the youngest in the family, adam, HAS FINALLY GROWN UP. my one and only nano, who's now getting mature, who has a clear vision of what she wants in her life, who has her own dreams to be fullfilled, and who wants to be independant, and stands on her own two feets, who no longer wants to be treated like a baby and who wants people around her to trust her own decisions in life. im proud of you, my dearest nano.

eventhough i'm miles away in ipoh, it's never easy for me to be separated from you. being the closest sis to me, the truth is its always hard for me to let you go. i still remember when you got the offer to further studies in boarding school, i was beyond words. yes, i was happy for you, but at the same, i never want you to leave me. it won't be the same without you, my dearest adik. and today, when you went to KTT, to continue with a-levels, again, im happy and proud of you. but its the feeling again and i hate it. i hate the fact that ur not at home anymo. if its hard for me, it must be even harder for those at home especially mama and adam. im gonna miss all the silly fights and quarrels you had with adam most of the time. and im glad im in ipoh cuz i dont think i can hold my tears inside, watching you leaving. i miss you already, lil sis. you're only in selangor, but i miss you this much already.tell me, how can i be miles away from you?

my baby boy and baby girl

its the emotional breakdown again. maybe because of the great and strong bond we have among us, the siblings. the same thing happened when ya left to further her studies in UNIMAS. maybe because ive been spending time with her for months before she left, and the next thing i knew, shes gonna leave me. its hard for me at first. i guess, its the matter of adapting and adjusting. at first, its gonna be awkward, and it takes me times to adjust and adapt myself. when one of them left, the loneliness starts to sink in. its never the same, and its never ever gonna be the same. because i simply love my family to bits and pieces. tell me who doesnt?

i guess im in the process of adapting. i have to. one day, they will leave. sooner or later, they will leave. people always leave. when my sisters get married, they gonna have their own families and they wont stay with us anymo. adam may be leaving for boarding school nx year, insyaAllah. and now, i'm missing each of you terribly.

mama,papa,yana,abg reza,dila,ida,ya,abe,nano,adam..
the complete Eleven.

rinduuu. =(((
*sigh*

my happy pills.


the three superheroes. <3

mama's daughters.

buah hati pengarang jantung

its all about eight.


the complete Eleven.

"father offers you advise like no other man can,
mother kisses you wounds that heal,
brothers will always be protective over you,
and sisters are forever supportive"

are you prepared enough?

i've been wanting to write a new post but since i was busy juggling myself with studies and due to the time factor, so yeah, i postponed. and i guess this is the rite time. this post is a reminder for myself, and for you out there, insyaAllah.

last sunday, while i was studying for EOM-BCS exam, which was on wednesday, i received a rather-shocking news. my housemate told me that one of our batchmates, MBBS 1B student met with a car accident and passed away. Ya Allah. i was like, "farah mane ni? awk sure ke? cuba confirm balik dgn org lain" within few minutes, the news were spread around so fast. facebook, msgs, and calls from our friends, and some of them were on their way to slim river where the accident took place. terdiam sekejap. i was trying so hard to digest everything in. couldnt believe it at first, tapi i accepted it later. ive just met her last friday, and now she's gone forever. innalillah. takdir Allah. sekelip mata je Allah boleh ambil apa yg Dia pinjamkan.

the following day, almost half of our batch went to penang to pay our last respect to Allahyarhamah. Alhamdulillah, sempat tgk jenazah and sempat solatkan jenazah, and baca yaasin. suasana sgt sayu masa tu. terimbau balik semua kenangan dgn arwah. semoga arwah pg menemui-Nya dengan tenang. jenazah dikebumikan di Baling Kedah. Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar, dan tahlil dijalankan rakan2 muslimat hr yang sama, and after exam.

honestly, were very much affected lepas arwah pg. terasa sgt kehilangannya walaupun we're not that close to her. in fact, exam kali ni rasa lain. terasa sayu sgt. lagi2 time exam, bila tgk kerusi sebelah kosong. tapi kami redha dgn pemergiannya Ya Allah. semoga dia ditempatkan bersama-sama orang2 yg beriman dan tenang di sisimu Ya Allah, insyaAllah.

to my dearest friend, farah diana, ill keep you in my heart forever and our memory remains forever, insyaAllah. our prayers will always be with you.

p/s: kt tak tau bila kt akan kembali kepada-Nya. ni mungkin masa dia, tapi masa kt? wallahu'alam. are we prepared enough for this?

i just cant imagine if dis happens to my loved ones. learn to appreciate ur loved ones while they're still around, because one day, they will be gone forever. each of us will return to Him. "trully to Allah we belong, and trully to Him shall we return. "

oleh itu, saya ingin mengambil kesempatan ini utk memohon seribu kemaafan kpd semua rakan-rakan sy dan org yg mengenali diri saya andai kata sy pernah melakukan sebarang kesalahan atau mengguris hati anda semua. sesungguhnya, sy hanya hamba Allah yg lemah penuh dgn kekhilafan. sama-sama la kt memaafkan, insyaAllah. =)

katakanlah, "sesungguhnya kematian yg kamu lari dari padanya, ia pasti menemui kamu, kemudian kamu akan dikembalikan kepada Allah, yang mengetahui yang ghaib dan yg nyata, lalu Dia beritakan kepadamu apa yang telah kamu kerjakan" (Al-jumu'ah:8)

"Dan Allah tidak akan menunda kematian seseorang waktu kematiannya telah datang. Dan Allah mahateliti terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan" (Al-munafiqun:11)

Maka nikmat tuhan manakah yang kamu dustakan?

emosi

bila saya sedih, saya diam.
(saya lagi suka menangis sorang-sorang sebelum tido, biarlah orang tak nampak, tapi Allah tahu)

bila saya kecewa, saya diam.
(walaupun sebenarnya sangat sakit untuk simpan sorang-sorang, sy taknak org tahu, biarlah Allah yg tahu)

bila saya marah, saya diam.
(sebab saya tak suka lepaskan dkt org lain, sbb sy pon tak suka kalau orang marah-marah, biarlah Allah yang tahu perasaan saya)

bila saya kecik hati/ terasa, saya diam
(sbb sy taknak orang lain terkena tempiasnya, biarlah sy sakit sorang-sorang walaupun kadang-kadang sakitnya sampai ke ulu hati)

bila saya terasa sangat sakit dan lemah bila diuji dengan dugaan yg berat, saya diam.
(sbb sy tahu, saya sentiasa ada Allah walaupun orang lain mungkin tak mampu sentiasa bersama saya)



walaupun saya kadang-kadang tak mampu tersenyum, dan hanya mampu terdiam, biarlah Allah yang tahu perasaan saya yang sebenar.

walaupun orang selalu ckp saya sentiasa tak berperasaan,dan tak faham apa sebenarnya dalam hati saya, saya tak kisah. sbb hanya Allah yang tahu betapa berbaurnya hati dan perasaan saya.

walaupun saya memilih untuk diam, tapi tak bermakna hati dan perasaan saya boleh diremehkan. tak bermakna saya terima semuanya. dan tak bermakna saya boleh diperlakukan sesuka hati dan hanya perlu terus mengikut kehendak semua orang. kerana saya tak mampu.

mungkin kerana saya tak suka meluahkan. kerana itulah saya sebenarnya. walaupun kata orang meluahkan itu lebih lega, tapi saya tahu bukan senang bg seorang shahira anuar itu untuk meluahkan perasaan sebenarnya.

selagi sy masih mampu bertahan menyimpan segala jenis perasaan ini tanpa memudaratkan orang lain, sy akan teruskan. walaupun saya tak tahu sampai bila sy akan bertahan.

tapi saya takut...
sy takut suatu hari nanti sy tak mampu bertahan lagi. =(

Ya Allah, berikanlah hamba-Mu kekuatan dari-Mu.
Sesungguhnya, daripadaMu kami datang, dan kepada Mu jualah kami kembali.

“Tidaklah seseorang dikatakan pemberani dan kuat karena cepat meluapkan amarahnya, tetapi seseorang dikatakan pemberani dan kuat kalau mampu menguasai diri dan nafsunya ketika marah.”


“Dan bersegeralah menuju ampunan Allah dan surga yang luasnya seluas langit dan bumi yang dijanjikan untuk orang-orang yang bertakwa, (yaitu) orang-orang yang menafkahkan (hartanya), baik di waktu lapang maupun di waktu sempit, dan orang-orang yang mengendalikan amarah dan memaafkan (kesalahan) orang. Allah menyukai orang-orang yang berbuat kebajikan.” (Ali Imran [3]: 134)

21/02

Di saat kita berjauhan
Rasa ingin ku berlari
Mendakapimu penuh girang
Bak si kecil kehilangan

Kau insan penyayang
Betapa ku merindu
Lembutnya belaian ibu
Membuatku terlena.

mama, u'll always be the QUEEN of my heart. thanx for bringing us into this world. thank you Allah, for this beautiful gift. =)

Ya Allah, lindungilah ibuku di bawah lembayung rahmat-Mu. kasihanilah ibuku sebagaimana dia mengasihaniku sejak kecil. amin.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA. adik sayang mama banyak2. miss you so much ma! =(

there's no shorcut to the place worth going,

salam.
080210
18.24 p.m

Nervous System Module is officially over. official as in,as a part of phase 1B syllabus, but definetely not the end of evrything since the system itself is sumthing crucial and i still think that we should have learned it earlier, meaning it should be part of 1A syllabus. baru lah nampak dunia and bole relate dgn semua system bila blaja CNS ni. its been a tough module, where it tested us mentally and physically with super packed schedule, additional subjects( general studies), and tonnes of workload. the best part is there was only one Histology class, which i kinda dislike since im not good at drawing, and its the last module with ILA,(more or less the same as PBL in ipta). ditambah pula dgn kejutan yg pelbagai, literally, which i consider as my very own personal problems. dugaan. despite its toughness, like really really susah dan complicated, surprisingly its the most interesting module ive learned so far. sgt suka module ni walaupun susah. dan walaupun selalu tachycardia especially during last ILA and exam module. just done with the end of module examination the previous week. the questions itself were quite tough and confusing. and so far, soalan exam yang paling aneh. agreed by everyone okay. im sure i did silly mistakes here and there, quite a lot sebenarnya tapi biarlah. wat is past has already past, and im pretty satisfied i did my very best till the end of it. a lil reminder for me, "Allah tak tgk keputusan yg kt dapat, tapi Allah pandang usaha kt" alhamdulillah, evrythin went well despite the ups and downs(studies wise and problems), and i managed to go thru it. thank you Allah. =)

the scalp incison: heart-shaped. =)

eversince i entered the medical school, ive always wanted to become a pediatrician. simply because i heart the kids too much. just cant resist them. anyway, after learning about the nervous system, especially when it comes to brain and anything related to it, i gave myself a second thought, why not become a neurosurgeon instead of pediatrician? mcm cool dan menarik, though its gonna be super tough. nothing is easy in this world, shahira anuar. lets think about this later when im already in the clinical years sbb barulah dpt rasa semua posting. anyway, a big warm welcome to the last module in phase 1B, Basic Clinical Science. how time flies so fast. lets rock it together, rakan-rakan. n oh, on the 26th of april, we're gonna sit for our very first professional exam. meaning, 8 modules from year 1 and 2 need to be covered. the marathon has just begun. tachycardia oh tachycardia. to my dearest batchmates, lets do our best for the upcoming module exam and final exam. say a BIG NO to supplement. to the rest as well, be it medical students or other courses, good luck. sama-sama kt doakan kejayaan semua, insyaAllah. :)

" Ya Allah, ajarkanlah kami bahawa belajar ini bukan kerana sesiapa tetapi hanya utkmu.
Belajar ini bukan untuk diri, bahkan utk seluruh umat rasulmu,
Belajar ini bukan utk saat ini bahkan utk sepanjang zaman.
Ajarkanlah kami apa-apa yang kami tidak tahu tentang ilmumu,
Ingatkan kami apa-apa yang kami lupa tentangmu,
Redhailah setiap langkah kami kerana kepadamu lah kami kembali"

"...dan janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat serta pertolongan Allah. Sesungguhnya tidak berputus asa daripada rahmat dan pertolongan Allah itu melainkan kaum yang kafir. " (surah yusuf 12:87)

rooftop rant.

Uitm Shah Alam Rooftop.

20th floor.

sunset, while it was raining.

so there we were, watching Shah Alam view from above, the rooftop. one of batch's biggest request before she leaves. the best part, of course when it was raining. its been my favourite and will always be. there's always sumthin about the rain, there's always sumthin about watching rains falling down from the dark blue skies, for me at least. the-forever-turn-me-on.


and when the rain begins to fall,

you ride my rainbow in the sky,

and i will catch you if you fall,

you never have to ask me why,

nd when the rain begins to fall,

ill be the sunshine in your life.

almost complete. al, na, ja, pia, syam missing. i miss you. i do.

Lelaki Melayu Terakhir.

5.36 a.m

Compared to the previous post which is rather motif-less to me and im sure to the readers as well, i think im writing this post with motif. heh. you tell me alryte.

lately it happened that i indulged myself in all sorts of male-female relationship(s) or more too, marriage likewise? you see, my sisters and cousins are getting married, anytime soon. sepatutnya lah kan, being the younger children in the family wont cause you any problem since u're the little one which means u dont really have to think much. but things turned out the other way round for me. (told u i think a whole lot of evrythin) nothing like 'gatal or nak kawin cepat' issues here. its more on the thinking. the way how i take it, and in this case, i do take it seriously. i admit that i dont think like the other teenagers do, sy slalu fikir terlampau jauh walaupun sebenarnya masih sgt muda. tapi tak kisahla, age doesnt count in.

the highlight of the story is not the wedding, btw. its gonna be abt the one ure gonna spend ur whole life with? and all of a sudden, there are too many 'what IF's'in my head. 'what if i make a wrong decision one day, what if i settle down with the wrong guy, and trust me, its a neverending list'. anyhoo, ignore the pessimistic part of it.

i'd like to be sumone wit full commitments. what im looking in a relationship is a simple relationship, yet with full commitments, and of course end up with marriage. i always have this perfect picture of who-so-ever whos gonna be my future husband. Of lelaki melayu terakhir. guys come and go but the real man will stay in the picture at the end of the day. tak salah kan if we could picture it by now?

i need a man who can guide me, who can change me into a better person. i always imagine a man who can be the perfect leader of the family. i dream of a man who can be my 'imam' with myself being a makmum, performing solat jemaah together. i dont need a man who is only good at words and do the sweet talks all the time but all i need is sumone who can make me think more
than twice whenever he starts to speak up, sumone who soothes my heart with hadith and dalil-dalil Qur'an when my world is turning upside down and the list goes on.

i need a man like papa. in fact, we all need a man like papa.

thats still a long long way to go, i'm sure. tapi mama slalu pesan, "kt kena selalu doa utk jodoh yg terbaik dari sekarang. bukan nak kahwin baru doa. mama selalu doakan jodoh yg terbaik utk anak-anak mama, bukan anyone yg specific for each of you because Allah knows best. Allah knows who's the best for you"

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu,dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.Allah mengetahui sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui"
(Surah Al-baqarah:216)

i cant dream of anyone else but sumone like papa as a future husband. tapi tu lah, its really hard to find. one in a million. evrytime if mama and papa gi makkah, we never failed to kirim doa and our favourite one will be, doakan ktorg dpt suami mcm papa, insyaAllah. :)

something to share(courtesy of aishah):

"Dengarilah sahabatku syg, Allah memujukmu, 'At-Toyyibat Littoyibin'-annur:26,
Wanita baik itu dijanjikan untuk lelaki yg baik dan sebaliknya. Telah tercatat seungkap nama di Loh Mahfuz utkmu. cuma peribadi ditentukan oleh sejauh mana ketinggian peribadimu. Jika kau terhambat di jalan yg diredhai, insyaAllah si dia turut sama. Lupakan segala kegundahan, teguhkan diri pada cinta hakiki,nescaya cinta si dia yg soleh turut kau miliki. Senyumlah pada sinar yg menantimu."

deep, yet a meaningful one. =)

yes, we were jobless.

and yes, we've gone crazy over those seluar kotak-kotak which me thinks are super duper adorable.kann? ;p

dear bestfriend.

Thank God I found you,
I was lost without you,
My every wish and every dream,
Somehow became reality,
When you brought the sunlight,
Completed my whole life,
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude,
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you.

p/s: our favourite since like forever! :D

i tried writing a poem for you.

i even ask the stars at night and the sweet defodils,
then i ask the sunshine and the moonlite on what i should write,
they smile to me and left me in wonders.
i thought for hours until i finally figure it out,
but all i could only write was 3 words.
'i miss you'

random.

this is a random post. i need to rant, but i guess im not used to it anymo.

i need to tell, or at least say sumthin, but at the end of the day, nothin will come out from moi, like usual.

humans are fuelled by lust and desire, its so freaking true, no?

i never take things lightly, and i think a whole lot of evrything in the most complicated way.
at least before im off to bed, i need to think, like really really think.

the probability for me to miss sumone whenever the rain falls down is high, i tell you. and i have to double agree with myself. thats when the memoirs come along too. *sighhh*

i miss travelling, BIG time. being a traveller is a major fun. there's sumthin about it. i wish i could travel all around the world by myself, one fine day. one fact about me, im not a fan of shopping. i dont shop like the other girls normally do. i'd rather go to places where the view are naturally breathtaking,where i would just sit queitly and stare at its best. it would be more than enough for me. its a theraphy, of tranquility. :)

im on my one week break. done with endocrine exam. SSM's comin up. take a chill pill, yaw.
im off to melaka tomorow morning. need the new air. was literally half 'insane' and i have to keep myself sane again. heh.

off to bed now, righteo?
nightey, dont let the bed bugs bite alryte. :D