When the Sun Sets.

Sutera Harbour, Kota Kinabalu.30th November 2011

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta,

Cintakan aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu,

Agar bertambah kekuatanku mencintaiMu.

Ya Muhaimin jika aku jatuh hati,

Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati

Seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu,

Agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu.

Ya Rabbana jika aku jatuh hati,

Jagalah hatiku agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu.

Ya Rabbul Izzati jika aku rindu, Rindukanlah aku pada seseorang

Yang merindui syahid di jalanMu

Ya Allah jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu,

Janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi

Kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu.

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh

Dalam perjalanan jauh menyeru manusia kepadaMu.

Ya Allah jika kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku

Pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu.

Amiin…

"Aku mencintaimu kerana agamamu, jika hilang agamamu, maka hilanglah cintaku padamu." -imam an-nawawi

Sweet Lavender

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and Assalamualaikum.

Love-hate relationship with Neurology.

Hello November. I hafta admit I kinda miss rambling in my dear blog of mine. you've been loyal to me for almost,hmm 4 years? wow. eheh. been wanting to update a whole lot of everything, but yeah procrastination has always been my bestfriend. ;) now that I finally manage myself to update this blog, just forget about the whole lot of evrything, but just a little sumthin from time to time would do.

my dearest study groupmates.post exam dinner. naqib MIA.

1. First and Foremost, Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah that I passed my Final 3A exam. So,lets bid farewell to 3A and Hello 3B which makes me a medical student for another 1 year and 6 months? InsyaAllah,pray for my smooth sailing journey all the way. Thank you for never ending prayers and support(you know who you are). 3A was a very,very very tough year for me with major postings(Paeds, O&G, Medicine, Surgery, Specialty: Ortho, Neuro, Infectious disease, Ophthalmo, Psychiatry,Community Medicine). toughest year,toughest syllabus, toughest exam, the worst pre and post exam syndrome so far, u name it. now that I think of it, it was such a nighmare but at the end of the day,it turned out to be a beatiful nighmare instead. Those sleepless nights, and hard work were paid off,and most importantly,Allah always listened. syukur sgt. and me being isomniacs through out the year, was such a killer for me as I had to go through hectic days and stayed focus in class.the craziest was during final itself that I only managed to sleep for 1 n 2 hours. Its true there were times I was at the bottom most and I felt that I could not go on anymore,but giving up is not my thing. and the inner strength is always from you,O'Allah. I'm very much thankful for that :)

look at those messyness created. exam fever.

when books were my bestfriend,they were all over.

Since I entered medical school, I never had the courage to take results on my own. Its the scariest part for me to know whether you pass or fail,and thats about it. This year, my friends and I(noy and mel) went for a perfect getaway the next day after our final,on the same day results were realeased to be exact.we went to Cameron Highlands,when everyone else were at the college waiting for the results.the whole idea was to make ourselves stress free.kononnya lah kan. but it worked anyway. great momentos indeed. :D

Post exam treat

2. I'm currently enjoying my holidays before I start my elective soon. biasalah, org jakun dah lama tak dapat cuti. will be doing my elective in Queen Elizabeth Hospital,Sabah anyway. cant wait. went to Sabah twice, and fell in love with the place. and am really pampering myself during this short break. Thai massage,checked. facial,checked. reflexology,checked. and the list goes on. what matters the most is, spending my precious time with la familia and nothing beats that. :)

touched by this msg from a friend of mine, simple yet meaningful:

" kat sana nanti klu sorg2,ingat Allah selalu"

I will, kerana Dia sebaik-baik pelindung. =)

3. On the other note, counting the days for my little niece to come out soon. your auntie here cannot wait anymo,duk tunggu awk ni keluar. please at least let me see you before I start my elective,please. semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan for my dear sister and her baby. Amin. InsyaAllah, ill be getting another niece/nephew since my eldest sis has just confirmed to be pregnant. Alhamdulillah. thank you Allah. :)

Here is a little sumthing. I just love it. :)

"When you stop searching for a prince

and make Allah the king of your heart,

He will help you complete your fairytale."

ambiguity

salam. and err hello?

yes, i'm back. period.

am going through a difficult phase in my life and currently recollecting the pieces from the past.
heart.just.know.

"Some people are clinging to the past; others are worrying about the future"
can you sense the ambiguity, at least?

"Life isnt about being jolly all the time,
sometimes its a bitter pill to swallow" (2006)

but things happened with reasons anyway. "If only we knew what His plans were for us, our heart would melt with the warmth of His love"

sweet, aint it? =)

The bliss and beauty.

I was craving a home made lasagna.


Andddd, tadaaa. A home made lasagna specially for me, with love. teehee.

thank you kakak, you're awesome. Adik loves you! :)



It always, always feels good to be home. Being home always makes me feel extraordinarily special and thats the beauty of it.

Alhamdulillah, I'm blessed with a beautiful and perfect family.

Sayang mama and papa sampai syurga. :)

Happy Father's day papa! It was supposed to be your special day,
unfortunately had to celebrate it in the ward.

Mama, papa and my lovely siblings.

Last but not least, gambar bersama pesakit.

Just like a song

I've got a confession to make:

I miss these 3 people so much. I really do. :(

I miss hanging out with the three of you. I miss the good old days when we were sticking up with each other like a glue. I miss those times when we always had each other's back. I miss those times when we were so busy reminding each other about our birthday(s), and not to be forgotten, those wonderful surprise parties. and sumhow, I miss those drama(s) created among us. I miss those times when I had no one to rely on but you guys. I miss those days when we always listened to each other, be it the silly ones, or the good ones.
I'll never forget the day when you guys came along, we became friends, and attached to each other like a magnet. I'll never forget our super friendship, that I always thought of it as a unique, yet a beautiful one. Its funny how we became friends, It's even funnier how we could be so close to each other despite our different characters.


rindu sangat nak lepak dgn korang macam dulu.rindu zaman form 4 and form 5 yang terlalu banyak kenangan dengan korang. and basically, rindu semua lah.

tapi, sekarang semua dah lain. :(

How I wish I could turn back time.



rindunya! *sigh*

atypical

...... : How are you doin? dah sihat?
moi: Alhamdulillah, dah sihat. I think i'm gettin much better.
...... : U think? mkn ur medicine tak?
moi: Ive completed my meds for the first time and I'm proud of myself. ;p
...... : Gud gurl!


Hello world. its been a while.
utk mereka-mereka yg tanpa henti mengambil berat tentang saya, hanya Allah yg dapat membalas jasa korang. May Allah bless all of you always. u know who you are.

Special thanx to my family, who's been taking care of me all the time, syida, desh, iylman, razi, abg ateh, shifaa, ainaa yg rajin msg/call to ask my conditions.

and many more, those who are not mentioned above. My Ipoh and Subang friends. you know you are. thank you!

I've fully recovered now. Alhamdulillah. was brought into casualty due to severe chills and rigor, resuscitated due to septic shock and diagnosed with atypical infection with history of intermittent fever, cough, running nose and sore throat 3 weeks prior to admission.

was ignorant much, and yes i was too stubborn, being reluctant to seek for any medical treatment, and take any medications. hence, the outcome. ;p thats the normal me anyway! Alhamdulillah, Allah tarik kejap je nikmat sihat. semoga ujian sakit sebagai kifarah dosa.

:)

Runaway train

Current mode: unidentified.

Its been a long tiring day, and I just got back from on-call. My official last day of oncall in Obstetrics and Gynaecology posting. O&G is coming to an end soon. cepatnya la masa berlalu. and ill b sitting for the end of posting exam next week. blergh. again, cepatnya masa berlalu. this week's schedule is crazier than usual. rasa macam tak sabar nak habiskan minggu ni cepat cepat sbb terlalu busy dan penat and it's only wednesday yaw. but the other part of me never want to leave O&G simply because I love almost every single thing about O&G, truthfully. hihi.

Procrastination has always been my best friend, and I always have issues with it. Its eating me alive.
One: Exam. and its O&G exam, one of the major postings.
Two: Case write up. 1 for Gynae, and 1 for Obs.

dan ternyatalah saya belum mengambil sebarang tindakan walaupun sekelumit.
exam next week, case write up and log book need to be submitted by this friday morning or else ZERO. and the crazy schedule is driving me up the wall. I can imagine myself staying up late at night struggling to get it done like how I struggled to complete my paeds write up a day before due date, last last nak dkt subuh baru tido. padan muka. tapi tak serik.

My sleeping pattern is even crazier nowadays.
My insomnia is getting worse. Like last night, when I finally able to sleep at almost 4 am.
And the extraordinary hot weather nowadays is also another issue. (tapi tak baik mengeluh sebenarnya)

Insanity starts to sink in.

Howeverrrr,

I suddenly feel the urge to start doing my case write up.
And its been raining since evening until now, a calming cool effect.


Current song: Runaway train, Soul Asylum.

mari bersemangat shahira anuar!

:)

The sweet 21.

The Red Velvet from Heavenly. :)

I'm trully blessed being surrounded by these beautiful people, and I'm very much thankful for that, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for your never ending blessings, that I couldnt ask for more. :)

Thank you for the birthday wishes, surprises, gifts, and most importantly the prayers, love and care, people. *much love*

And despite everyone's busy-ness, they actually made time for me on my special day. terharu.

A short and simple post this time, but flooded with pictures, that surely represent the memories. :D

cuz they always bring out the best in me. I love you both, always.

la familia, my spinal cord. <3

All time favourite, Choc Indulgence from beloved housemates. syg korang semua!

Another choc cake from Coffee Bean, from the one and only mylaila. thank you dear. love it!
(not to forget, thank you azi n tmah for dropping by in the middle of the night and thanx for the prezzie n card jugak! :D )

another surprise, after a tiring on-call. :)

anddd, another yummy choc cake. ;)

My study group members, the sunshine after the rain, the colors of my life. :)

To my dearest study group mates, or better known as OSG, its the strong bond that keep us together, walaupun perangai kita semua sangattt berbeza, walaupun susah for the eight of us utk duduk sekali and jumpa, dan walaupun semua busy dgn posting masing2, lets stick together alryte? I wouldnt want to trade you guys for anythin else in the world.

The best part of the night when noy mentioned: "Aku nak nanti anak aku pon satu study group dgn anak2 korang". that was so random, freak much tapi comel. ;)

Macaroons session with shifaa dearest.

thank you awak, you made my day. :D

And those pictures wrapped it all, beautifully. Those moments that I'll cherish forever, insyaAllah.

thank you semua, for becoming part of my jigsaw puzzle, cuz without you people, I will never be able to put it all together and make a complete purrfect puzzle on my own. :)

fast car

I hope I can play this song one day, for real. or can sumone please play me this song. either way, vice versa, whatever you call it. Ive always been in love with this song, still in love and will always be. especially this version. a cover version by Boyce Avenue. simply beautiful.

I really think that Boyce Avenue makes good cover songs. check it out on Youtube if you wanna listen to more songs. :)

to whom it may concern, I miss you!
there's actually something missing. period.

the sound of music.

the new baby. :D :) ;) ;p :D

the weapon.

"Yaa rabbil lakal"hamdu kama yanbaghii lijalaali wajhika, wa'aziimi sultaanik."
O my Lord, all praises be to You as it should be due to Your Might and the Greatness of Your Power.

kerna hanya Engkau yang Maha Sempurna, Ya Rabb. :)

heartache.

and it hurts. I just realised that I have a heart to take care of too.

thyphoid vs thyphus.

I was wandering around the hospital searching for a good case to present for bedside teaching tmrw morning. and god knows how hard it was to find the specific cases wanted by Dr. M (Tuberculosis/leptopirosis/HIV), as most of them have been presented already! went to all medical wards from level 1 to 8 asking all the doctors available and I finally gave up. lets see if there's a new admission in the evening.

until...

I received a news telling me that bedside teaching with Dr. M tmrw morning will be replaced by Dato' Gurdeep. should i consider myself as lucky? phew. what a relief, seriously. oh la la~ and with that, I can clerk any case of infectious disease instead of the limited options given. yippie yeay! lega sangat ok!

but but thats not the end of it. life is not all about happy ending kan? we still have to prepare for tomorow's seminar on Thyphoid & Thyphus with Dr. M and according to the previous groups, it has always been a total disaster. done with my part, but havent started reading the whole topic yet. so, good luck for tmrw. semoga segalanya dipermudahkan~ Amin.

kena marah pon tak kisahla. kena panggil schizophrenia pon tak kisah jugakla. looking at the positive side of it, I learnt a lot from you, and its bcuz of u I remember most of the things, apparently. aint that a good thing?

havent experienced any major depression, since phase 2 so far. of course we're talking about Dr. M's classes here. heh. mungkin dah terlalu immune.

see, i'm trying to be an optimist kan kan? :))

guess this is the result when u get overdose of Dr. M that uve finally reached the absolute refractory period.

selamat malam dunia~

daddy's little girl

adik: pa, tiba2 adik kempunan nak makan jemput durian. hihi.
papa: nanti adik balik, pa masak la jemput durian special utk adik syg.


:):):)

If I were to get married one day, I want somebody like papa. A perfect father, husband, son, and friend but I know its just so hard to find one. I'm always proud to be your daughter, papa!

bonheur

All praises to Allah, Alhamdulillah. :)

thank you for a wonderful day, thank you for this happiness. excited mode, still. teehee.

One:
Only god knows how much Ive been missing me lady, mylaila. terubat rindu, its been almost 2 weeks. :D

Two:
A simple and short, yet meaningful text message received.
"My upt positive"

and with that, I'm the happiest sister on earth. I know uve been having hard times with so many things happened in ur life, one of it was the miscarriage, but u're definetely a tough cookie sistah. me loves you always. *lotsa lotsa love*


Semoga hari-hari yg mendatang akan lebih indah. :)

i'll be.

Mr. H

she: dah tau asthma, kurangkanlah minum ais.
Mr. H: jgn risaula. you sound like a gf and a mummy to me.
she: of course i'm worried. I 'used' to be ur good friend what. heh.
Mr. H: yes, and u'll always be. ;)

*speechless*

things are different now. we both are different now. but i'm still giving out my best and trying hard to keep this friendship. you can count on my words, and i hope ur keeping ur words too.

just so you know, when somethin's concerning you, i always care. and i mean it.
eventhough i might not show it most of the time.

take care buddy!

i know i'm a medical student when I....

found this page on facebook and me thinks its pretty cool. and hilarious too.


You know u're a medical student when...

- You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for, and realise you’ll get a medical doctor title the same time your friend gets a PhD doctor title.

- You get depressed and emotional just thinking about how bad a doctor you’ll become in a few years.

- You answer every question with, “Hmm (pretending to think for a second), I don’t know.” And you know the most correct answer is, “It depends, sir.”

You instantly feel that you want to bang your head against the wall whenever someone says “You’re a medical student? You must be very smart then!”, because it’s an unbearable accusation.

- Conversations with people involve “So tell me what happened.”, “So how does that make you feel?”, and “I understand it must be very difficult for you.”

You count the days till your next more-than-two-days-weekend-break, which is at least 4 months away.

It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.


*these are the things that i'm currently facing, at least.

goodbye.

they say, saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.
and i say, i cant agree more.

i cant really remember, when was the last time i cried my heart out. like really really cried. its not even in my memory. until yesterday, when i sent mama, papa and ida off for umrah.
shame on me. adam pon cool je. i couldnt hold my tears when i hugged ida. they've not left yet, and all i knew i missed em already.

its not sumthin usual for me. selalunya bila hantar ma or pa or any of my family members for umrah, paling-paling pon my eyes became teary. i dont know what had taken into me this time. emotions were taking control all over me. its the time of the month i guess. boo shahira, boo. maybe this is the first time ida left me. she's the only one in the family who never leaves home and she's always been available for us, especially this manja sister of hers. and usually when ma n pa were not around, shes the one who took care of us, and the ketua keluarga in the family.
she's the closest elder sister of mine, who forever layan my kerenah, who always brings me out for jalan-jalan, and cook my favourite dishes. that explains this extraordinary emotional breakdown.

anyway, they have arrived safely. syukur Alhamdulillah. selamat menunaikan ibadah umrah ma, pa and ida. semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan di sana dan mendapat umrah mabrur, insyaAllah. i really really miss the three of u. i do. take care. love, adik.


on the other note, i'm currently missing my bestfriend dearly. can i atleast get a hug and have you temporary wit me, pretty please. just so you know, i love you!

nyata dan maya.

Cekallah sayang
Dalam menempuhi dunia ini saban hari
Adakalanya mendung jua kunjung
Bersabarlah

Ku kan selalu denganmu,kasih
Dalam jasadku yang nyata atau maya
Kerana ku terlalu mengendah
Suka dukamu setiap ketika

:)

cupcakes made by her on my birthday.

she: salam shirota. awk demam lagi ke?
moi: w'salam. kt dah tak demam. but still batuk and flu. kt baru je comment awk dkt fb. our hearts are connected kann? ;p

she: yeke?haha, biaselah. instinct! ;) tgh study ye? nak teman awk study bole?hehe. dah makan belom? kalau belom, meh kt belikan food utk awak! :)

moi: alahai. chomelnya la awk ni. thanx dear. kt da makan td. kt tgh sgt tak bersemangat nak study. tak sabar nak balik!
she: hey. kesiannya awk! do u want bubur? i can buy for u! awak, kt tanak kacau awk study. buat elok2 tau esok! :)

and i'm still smiling.

sharifah shifaa,thank you my dearest. awk adalah antara orang yg paling kt syg tau tak? youre the sweetest thing. *loves*

Pulau Manukan, Sabah. 2009

Tanjung Aru, Sabah. 2009

Riverfront, Ipoh. 2010

Waterfront, Sabah. 2009

Futsal, 2010

SSM, 2009

Lost world of tambun. 2009

midst of midnight

Its 3.30 a.m

Its currently raining in the midst of the midnight.

Tomorrow is the end of posting exam.

EMQ,MEQ,OSCE, followed by short case on thursday.

I'm currently listening to Al-kahfi by Mishary Al-Afasy.

Simply soothing, and beautifully recited. MasyaAllah.

Nothing beats the words of Allah, the most powerful of all :)


dan hati kembali merasa tenang setelah jiwa yg berkecai bercantum kembali.
its a rather heartbreaking news.
hanya padaMu kami memohon, ya Allah.
hanya Engkau yg mendengar luahan hati ini, maka perkenankanlah doa kami.
Amin.

perfect theraphy,

hello.

its finally weekend again, and here i am in Ipoh. I'll be sitting for my end of posting exam next week. sooo many things to read yet so little time. and I need to submit my three case write ups on monday but I havent started anything yet. yes, I cant seem to stay focus and I'm pretty much carried away. Its a part of medical student's syndrome. tiada yg pelik bukan. I'm down with flu, cough, sore throat and fever, all in one u see. guess its due to post hectic week, or maybe its the wheather or maybe due to all sort of infections in the PICU since ive been in PICU in a week. mungkinlah.


howeverr, last weekend was a blast. thank you Allah. dan terima kasihlah atas kejayaan pasukan bola sepak negara. kerana anda semualah kami berjaya dpt cuti pada hari jumaat where it changed everything. I wasnt in a mood, really. but then again, due to public holiday, my family came with a last minute plan to go to PD since everyone was around. PD is sumhow a place which brings sentiments to me since its where our family had spent most of our time for a vacation since we were small. mungkin sbb its the nearest place that we can go for vacation, sbb sgt susah utk semua org cuti sama time. so kalau pg cuti pon dpt pg dkt je. and since my family enjoy cooking, rather than eating outside, we choose PD of all places. sbb byk tempat yg sgt convenient utk masak dkt PD. :)

its BBQ time!

my boy. <3

heroes of Anuar. :)

adam seronok dpt abg ipar baru. :)

god knows how much ive been longing to go to beach tapi selalu ada je halangan. going to beach is like the perfect theraphy for me especially when im down. baru sy nampak hikmahnya when i finally dpt pg beach this time, plus its complete thirteen. maka, semua kelihatan sgt sempurna. i had quality time with my loved ones. thank you Allah. terima kasih kerana menggembirakan hati sy setelah melalui hari-hari yg sedih. You just know best. :)

muka gembira dapat pg beach. :D

the lovebirds. :)

p/s: didnt get to take picture of complete thirteen though. sob sob. :(

another thing, I was finally able to spend time with my loved ones. major catching up. terubat rindu! thank you batch, annis and maliq. you guys made my day! sayang korang! rindu dahhh. :(