Salam Maal Hijrah. :)

1 Muharam 1430 Hijrah.
Semoga lembaran baru ini lebih baik dari yang lalu. Amin.

Doa Awal Tahun Hijrah.
Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang; segala pujian bagi Allah Penguasa sekalian alam; selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan Nabi dan Rasul iaitu penghulu Nabi Muhammad S.A.W dan kepada keluarga serta sahabat baginda sekalian.
Ya Allah, Engkaulah yang kekal; qadim lagi azali dan di atas kelebihan Engkau yang besar; dan kemurahan Engkau yang telah mendatangi kami, kami memohon kepada Engkau pemeliharaan padanya daripada syaitan yang direjam, pembantu-pembantunya dan tentere-tenteranya dan kami memohon pertolongan dari nafsu yang banyak mendorong kepada kejahatan dan kami memohon kepada Engkau untuk melakukan sebarang pekerjaan yang boleh mendekatkan diri kami kepada Engkau.
Ya Allah, Tuhan yang merubah segala keadaan, rubahlah keadaan kami kepada sebaik-baik keadaan dengan kekuasaan dan kurniaan Engkau, wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang.

Wahai Tuhan kami, kurniailah kepada kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan kebahagiaan di akhirat dan peliharalah kami dari azab api neraka. Dan cucurilah rahmat dan salam kepada penghulu kami Nabi Muhammad S.A.W dan kepada keluarganya dan para sahabat baginda sekalian. Segala pujian bagi Allah Tuhan Pentadbir seluruh alam.

AMIN.

awesome foursome.

Had to go to GIANT wit ya and ida this morning, to buy adam's n nano's stuffs. mari kembali ke sekolah, ayuh. heh. i miss SMSJ so bad. those were the days, when we were all carefree. and oh,rindu nak beli brg2 skola. *sigh* Lepas tu, they wanted to eat sushi dkt parade. evryone was craving for sushi except for me. A big NO NO. it takes me another half of the year to be able to eat sushi again. make me eat, i'll definetely puke. they know why. lalala.

Setibanya di parade, or to be exact, setibanya di Sushi King, al texted me. "Free utk lunch?" yeah, im all free, lagi2 tatkala perasaan tidak mahu makan sushi yg tidak dapat dibendung lagi. heh. So, they came(al and mimi) and we had lunch at pizza hut. dan kemudiaannya al meminta utk berkaraoke. dan sy hanya menurut perintah(;p), went for karaoke and daytona as well, only two of us. yea.

And oh, the idea of going out for a cendol or minum petang with batch was last minute changed. Instead, we straight away went to Shah Alam to meet my bestie, Annis. She's back in Malaysia, temporarily btw. fyi, mereka mmg terkenal dgn last minute plan. tapi cool. finally, the awesome foursome get to spend time together. :) and the coolest thing, we wore black and white without planning. shweet.

batch is goin back tomolow. till next time when we meet again. take care dear. :) last words, korang yang terindah. teehee. loves.

bestfriend of 6 years.

The awesome foursome. Dulu, Kini dan Selamanya. Insyaallah. :)

Nur Shahira Anuar.
Annis Natalia Abdul Hamed Shah.
Siti Aliah Kamaruddin.
Nur Basirah Borhanuddin.

Deeper Conversation.

Its raining.
And i'm feeling blue.
And I find it hard to close my eyes.
And this song plays on my playlist.
And I just listen to it.
And I know my mind is not here wit me.
Tidak bersatu dengan jasad, lalu semakin menjauh.

And I pray that things will get better tomorrow.
Selamat malam.

Lyrics | Yuna lyrics - Deeper Conversation lyrics
Lyrics | Yuna lyrics - Deeper Conversation lyrics

December baby.

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, happy birthday,
Happy birthday to you.
:)

11/12: Asilah.
Ikhlas.

14/12: Salam.

15/12: Badrul.

22/12: Hairi.

24/12: Haris.

27/12: Baby.

Close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candles.
Semoga dirahmati Allah selalu.
Amin.
:)

Buah Hati, Pengarang Jantung. :)

"ohana means family.
family means no one is left behind"

Suatu hakikat kebenaran, keluarga saya adalah kekuatan saya, the real inner strengh.

I went to Concorde, Shah Alam with mama and kak ti this morning, to send my cousins for ESQ(Emotional Spritual Quotient) training. I've attended the course before, in fact dah jadi Alumni pon. Alhamdulillah. :)

Sebenarnya, saya ingin berkongsi sesuatu dgn anda semua. dan jika mampu, mahu saja berkongsi semua cerita yang saya dengar pagi tadi, tetapi terlalu banyak. Semuanya amat bermakna bagi saya, sehinggakan terkadang seperti tidak mampu menahan air mata daripada mengalir. menangis-tersenyum-menangis-ketawa kembali. EMOSI berjaya memainkan peranan dgn begitu baik. ;p

Walaubagaimanapun, antara pelbagai cerita yg diperdengarkan, hati saya begitu terusik tatkala mendengar sebuah kisah seorang gadis tentang keluarganya. Lahir di dalam sebuah keluarga yg besar, dan mempunyai seramai 13 org adik-beradik, apatah lagi dia adalah anak ketiga dan perempuan sulung sekaligus, membuatkannya begitu benci dan jengkel akan adik-adiknya. Beliau sentiasa tertekan dan jurang yg besar terbina antara mereka kerana beliau tidak kisah akan adik-adiknya. Mungkin kerana sentiasa harus berkorban, dan merasakan perhatian yg diberi kurang menjadikan ia sebagai faktor utama.

Sehinggakan ketika ibunya mengandungkan anak yg ke-6, die berkata kepada ibunya:
"Umi, yg kakak tau, kakak tak nak tahu sape dlm perut umi, kakak takkan jage die, kakak tak nak kisah pasal die, dan kakak tak kan sentuh die, die bukan darah daging kakak."

Ya Allah. Bayangkan apa yg saya rasakan tatkala mendengar apa yg keluar dari mulut gadis yg kelihatan begitu naif itu. Ketika itu, saya tidak dapat menahan air mata daripada mengalir.
Hati ini begitu terguris. Satu demi satu wajah adik-beradik saya datang menerpa di bayangan ini.
Pada saat itu juga, hati kecil ini tidak henti-henti memanjatkan rasa syukur yg tidak terhingga kepada Allah. Terima kasih Allah utk segalanya. Terima kasih kerana kasih sayang ini tidak pernah pudar. Terima kasih kerana keakraban persaudaraan kami sentiasa kukuh.
Terima kasih kerana mengurniakanku keluarga yang bahagia.
Terima kasih ma dan pa, kerana melahirkan zuriat yg ramai.

Eight of us. Proudly to say, i am. Because im always grateful to b born in a big family, to b surrounded by many siblings. I'm contented with what i have and i'm happy. Its just wonderful. Especially when having all of em around.
My siblings and i are just so close to each other. we are everyone's EVERYTHING.
And I heart each of em to bits n pieces. Tiada yg lebih, tiada yg kurang. Mereka adalah segalanya.
Yana, Dila, Ida, Ya, Abe, Nano, Adam. <3

Jarang sekali saya meluahkan isi hati saya. Keluarga dan rakan-rakan sering mengatakan sy tiada perasaan. Erti kata lain, emotionless. heh. Mungkin benar, tetapi tiada siapa yg tahu apa yg sebenarnya terbuku di lubuk hati. I always want to express my feelings to the loved ones, but its just hard for me.
When i care, i don't know how to show it, when the fact that god knows how much i care. And i know its hard for me to even say, "I miss you" and "I love you". Bukan ego but its just me. It wont just come out.
Often when they called me, and at the end of conversation, they would say sumthin like i love you n such, but i just kept myself in silence and didnt reply back. Same thing when they texted me. After that selalu akan disappointed wit myself. I'm really sorry. :(
Kalau lah korang tau apa yg ku rasa.

the coolest.

Mama, I love you so much but you know i might not show it.
I really cant stand to see you in pain, because im hurting on the inside too.
Everytime tears start streaming down ur cheeks, I'll try my very best to turn my face away, because i dunt want you to see im crying too.
And at that moment, I know i'm the weakest person on earth.

Ya Rabbi, Kau ambil lah nyawa ku sebelum kau ambil nyawa mereka.
Dan jika ditakdirkan sudah masanya kau mengambil nyawa kami,
matikanlah kami dalam keimanan dan ketaqwaanmu. Amin.

Sekadar renungan.

TANDA HATI MATI.

Jika seseorang melihat orang susah,
Mungkin sakit atau miskin dan papa,
Hati tidak tersentuh, Jiwa tidak simpati,
Sesungguhnya hati itu telah BUTA.

Kalau melihat orang yg mendapat bala,
Jiwa itu tidak derita,
Melihat biasa sahaja,
Tidak merasa apa-apa,
Ketahuilah bahawa kemanusiaannya telah PUNAH.

Sekiranya melihat gunung, langit, pemandangan yg indah,
Hanya terpesona dengan pandangan itu sahaja,
Tidak terasa kehebatan dan kebesaran Allah,
Menunjukkan jiwanya telah MATI.

Setelah melakukan kesalahan dan dosa,
Hatinya masih rasa biasa,
Tidak sekelumit rase takut dan gentar akan Allah,
Ketahuilah bahawa hati itu semakin gelap, hitam dan akhirnya MATI.

(Pesanan dari Kak Ecah):
"Hati ni mcm manusia, kene jaga selalu. kalau manusia, kene mkn n minum utk utk terus hidup, kene jaga selalu supaya sentiasa bersih, segar. mcm tu la hati, kene bg mkn, minum, dan dijaga selalu. kalau tak jaga, hati akan sentiasa kotor, gelap dan paling ditakuti satu hari nanti, ianya akan mati"

I NEED AIR TO BREATHE.

papa.

Dear blog,

I miss papa badly. tak sempat bye-bye papa td.
pa called me this morning when he arrived kuching. "papa tak bye-bye adik pon td" :(
pa told me i was sleeping and he didnt want to wake me up.

now i know i miss the king of my heart dearly.
:(

pics say it all.

Events/Occasions/Activities Of The Week:

11/12/08: Surprise party for clah. Pics arent available anyway. later.

FUNFAIR:



12/12/08: Akad Nikah(Sarah's cousin)


13/12/08: Seminar Fiqh Perubatan, Royal College Of Medicine Perak.




Climax Of The Week:
Abg Hood's Wedding Reception at tropicana golf club. note: family not complete.

Last but not least, My Superhero,
Muhd. Adam Haikal Anuar.
xoxo

bad night.

I lost my IC, license, and 2 ATM cards, sumwhere in funfair. not a good nite for me kot. just made a police report and have to come again tomorow. well, lets just sayy, bad luck?
unfortunately, this is the 2nd time. jadi, lebih bertenang. more calm.
i could still remember the time when i went to sarawak alone, a friend of my sis picked me up from airport, and straight away went to a place, which i couldnt really rememeber. only within a short period of time, when we came back again, kete da kene pecah, barang sume hilang. and i mean, semua. heh. jadii, sehelai sepinggang dtg sarawak. heh. dat was like, a year ago?
takpe, adela hikmah. insyaallah. take it that way, and u'll feel better.

Oh btw, before that, my hsmates and i went for dinner with kak ummul, kak maira and kak dayah, dan juga FUNFAIR. all dizzy now. few of them even vomited due to 'kepeningan yg melampau'.

dann sekarang, just got back from police station. thanks kak ummul, kak dayah n dira teman. dan mahu tido. ya.
it's already 1.27 a.m, so yesterday was clah's bday. selamat hari jadi.
good night. hopefully tomorrow will b a better day. amin.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

A Who-I-Have-To-Meet-List-During-One-Week-Holiday:

• Al
• Batch
• Agy
• Maliq
• Mr. H
• The rest of petite.

Checklist: All tick. Except for last one. titik.
Finallyyy!!

holiday is finally over. will be going back to ipoh tomorow morning.
ape yg penting, cuti berjaya dihabiskan bersama keluarga dan rakan-rakan terdekat. :)

To Mr. H, thank you for today. thank you for the treat, thank you for the big effort. you really made my day. after almost a year of not seeing each other, finally we got to meet. i could see many changes in you, but i like it anyway. thank you for bringing back the memories. thank you for everythin, awk!

Did i tell you i have great bunch of friends? You guys are simply the awesom-est. Thank you for the Bukit Cerakah Outing.
A day to remember: Subang Parade-Bukit Cerakah-Masjid Negeri-Old Town White Coffee-Masjid Al-Falakh-Badminton.

And I have a confession to make;
I trully madly deeply heart each of you to bits and pieces.

Ketika bahagia saat bersamamu,

Ketika kalian peduli akan tangisku,

Ketika kita berjalan bersama,

Untuk Mengejar semua mimpi-mimpi kita,

Dan ketika cinta kita terhentak,

Kita adalah satu.

Tetap kawan selamanya. =)

Selamat tinggal Subang Jaya!

blabbers.

so, i went for medical check up today with ma and abe, and the blood test result's out.
Alhamdulillah,its nothin like SLE. terima kasih Allah. :) my next appointment will b in 2 months time.
after the appointment, papa bought me some chocs. thank you, pa. :D
craving for chocs lately. well, craving for plain cadburry to b specific. pelik pelik lah shahira anuar. and oh, last nite ida took me to T.G.I fridays. na and adam pon menyibuk jugak. usually dila n jo yg bwk, but since dila is too bz wit on-calls and all, nvm la.
thank you for the treat. n thank you slalu kene layan my mengada-ness.
i wurve you, kakak! anda adalah yg terbaik di dunia. you RAWK. :))

................................................................................................................................................................................
"free yourself at 3. will pick you up later."
agyyy!! awk mmg sgt bertuah kann. kelam-kabut gile kt. tak msk lunch lagi, tak mandi lagi, tak solat lagi, tak cari baju lagi, n tak gosok baju lagi! waa.
sorry you had to wait, tp kt da sedaya-upaya siap mcm the flash okay. tu lahh, lain kali tell me earlier.
and oh, packed some of my 'sambal tumis udang' for agy to taste it. later we cook together k?
finallyy. got to meet my agy. went to parade for lunch, but peristiwa lama berulang lagi. sebijik lak tuh. takpe2, kt da biase dan terpakse biasekan diri. da kene curse kot if gi parade dgn awk. ;p then, went to agy's place, stayed there till night. borak-borak sampai penatt. i like it there anyway. sgt cosy. =)

oh btw, after this ill try my very best 'merajinkan' diri mkn ubat. dunt worry too much lah. im fine. u're exactly like man. like sis, like bro la kann. pnat mlm tu kene pakse mkn ubat dgn korg. but told u im a good girl. :)
anyway, thank you for the day, yea.

might b goin out wit man today, but x confirm lagi. we'll see how it goes. waiting for him to msg me. and oh, my cousins will b arriving today. yeayness. selamat datang ke teratak kami and lets rock the world .together we rock yeah. and oh, maliqku, or maliq kami(which one you prefer) da habis exam. double yeay. jom lah korg gi picnic. till then, bye-bye.

mind the so many 'oh's' in this post, okay?

:(

im sorry but i need to let my heart out.

he texted me in the middle of the night asking me: awk percaya emosi n suara hati?
was really mamai when i read the msg, and replied this morning.
so, i asked him wats wit the msg, andd he asked me who was i referring to, regarding the 'suara hati n emosi' post.

i know u read my blog. tak kisahla kan.
when you said you need to know, told you its a random post. and i was referring to anyone who deserves it. not only an individual, sbb bukan sorg cume when i wrote that, i was referring to sumone n u dunt need to know who la kan. does this thing really has to b an issue for u?
you told me the post sumhow bothered you, and awk terase.
whyy? now tell me uve made promises and u werent able to make it?
i was annoyed this morning and i dunt know why.
and i didnt ignore you purposely but ive been really bz. thought you would understand by now.

sy dah pnat sbenarnye. im really tired of this ever since you made the biggest lie.
honestly, do you really care?

cant you see im hurting inside?

• bumped into 'another-he' the other day, and it has been ages. never thought i would see you again. was in denial, and still am, but i sumhow realise sumthin, ive never moved on.talking to you again, it was rather hard for me. pretending is the hardest thing to do.
  

i was in denial, and still living in denial.

• another surprise for me today, i accidentally met her. it was really awkward btwn you and me. i was forever running away from you and everything cuz im scared i might get hurt again. im just scared ill shed into tears again. im not ready to hear the painful words. maybe its just the time to face it, no matter how bad its going to be.
  

another thing, he msged me, and he wants to see me. i want to see you too, but im not ready yet.

my life is full of suprises, no?
this is hard for me. ive always been shadowed by the past. been hurt for countless time, and honestly, im scared of being hurt again. its killing me, for real. please, not this time. please, dunt let this happen again.
shahira kan kene kuat? hmm. :(

aishah, clah, please please please tell me im strong enough to face this. please tell me that ive gone thru too many things in my life, that i will definetely be stronger this time. please tell me ill b fine. please please, will you?

but, one shot? Ya Allah.

=(
=(
=(

bulan dan bintang. =D

Tonite, i witnessed sumthin which totally mesmerize me. Subhanallah. Sgt indah ciptaan Allah.
Two stars and a moon forming a smiley-like. Sgt sgt sgt cantik. i so LOVE. being sumone who loves to stare at the dark-nite-sky with twinkling stars shining brightly around the moon, i was super excited when i saw this. fantabulous view. terus lompat-lompat and panggil my family, and quickly texted my friends. i was really hoping everyone else could see it too, and share the view with me.

smiling still. sy sgt suka! thank you Allah, utk keajaiban ini. :D

khas utk annis, batch, al, clah, maliq, syam n na.
dan semualah cinta hati saya. semoga berpuas hati semuanya. ;p

the real one is wayy better than dis, trust me. tapi x berjaye amik. sorry korg.

later on, satu bintang da hilang. dan, sy sgt hampa. no mo smiley for me. :(
tp takpelah, grateful enough. :)
thank you badrul for this picture. sgtttt gembira. :)

oh bintang, dirimu begitu indah.
berkerlipan menerangi cakerawala.
begitu juga dirimu rembulan.
sinaran yg lembut dan redup menghidupkan malam.

p/s: if u cant sleep, try to count the stars in the skies. like i do. mesti boleh tido. ;p