Lelaki Melayu Terakhir.

5.36 a.m

Compared to the previous post which is rather motif-less to me and im sure to the readers as well, i think im writing this post with motif. heh. you tell me alryte.

lately it happened that i indulged myself in all sorts of male-female relationship(s) or more too, marriage likewise? you see, my sisters and cousins are getting married, anytime soon. sepatutnya lah kan, being the younger children in the family wont cause you any problem since u're the little one which means u dont really have to think much. but things turned out the other way round for me. (told u i think a whole lot of evrythin) nothing like 'gatal or nak kawin cepat' issues here. its more on the thinking. the way how i take it, and in this case, i do take it seriously. i admit that i dont think like the other teenagers do, sy slalu fikir terlampau jauh walaupun sebenarnya masih sgt muda. tapi tak kisahla, age doesnt count in.

the highlight of the story is not the wedding, btw. its gonna be abt the one ure gonna spend ur whole life with? and all of a sudden, there are too many 'what IF's'in my head. 'what if i make a wrong decision one day, what if i settle down with the wrong guy, and trust me, its a neverending list'. anyhoo, ignore the pessimistic part of it.

i'd like to be sumone wit full commitments. what im looking in a relationship is a simple relationship, yet with full commitments, and of course end up with marriage. i always have this perfect picture of who-so-ever whos gonna be my future husband. Of lelaki melayu terakhir. guys come and go but the real man will stay in the picture at the end of the day. tak salah kan if we could picture it by now?

i need a man who can guide me, who can change me into a better person. i always imagine a man who can be the perfect leader of the family. i dream of a man who can be my 'imam' with myself being a makmum, performing solat jemaah together. i dont need a man who is only good at words and do the sweet talks all the time but all i need is sumone who can make me think more
than twice whenever he starts to speak up, sumone who soothes my heart with hadith and dalil-dalil Qur'an when my world is turning upside down and the list goes on.

i need a man like papa. in fact, we all need a man like papa.

thats still a long long way to go, i'm sure. tapi mama slalu pesan, "kt kena selalu doa utk jodoh yg terbaik dari sekarang. bukan nak kahwin baru doa. mama selalu doakan jodoh yg terbaik utk anak-anak mama, bukan anyone yg specific for each of you because Allah knows best. Allah knows who's the best for you"

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu,dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.Allah mengetahui sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui"
(Surah Al-baqarah:216)

i cant dream of anyone else but sumone like papa as a future husband. tapi tu lah, its really hard to find. one in a million. evrytime if mama and papa gi makkah, we never failed to kirim doa and our favourite one will be, doakan ktorg dpt suami mcm papa, insyaAllah. :)

something to share(courtesy of aishah):

"Dengarilah sahabatku syg, Allah memujukmu, 'At-Toyyibat Littoyibin'-annur:26,
Wanita baik itu dijanjikan untuk lelaki yg baik dan sebaliknya. Telah tercatat seungkap nama di Loh Mahfuz utkmu. cuma peribadi ditentukan oleh sejauh mana ketinggian peribadimu. Jika kau terhambat di jalan yg diredhai, insyaAllah si dia turut sama. Lupakan segala kegundahan, teguhkan diri pada cinta hakiki,nescaya cinta si dia yg soleh turut kau miliki. Senyumlah pada sinar yg menantimu."

deep, yet a meaningful one. =)

yes, we were jobless.

and yes, we've gone crazy over those seluar kotak-kotak which me thinks are super duper adorable.kann? ;p

dear bestfriend.

Thank God I found you,
I was lost without you,
My every wish and every dream,
Somehow became reality,
When you brought the sunlight,
Completed my whole life,
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude,
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you.

p/s: our favourite since like forever! :D

i tried writing a poem for you.

i even ask the stars at night and the sweet defodils,
then i ask the sunshine and the moonlite on what i should write,
they smile to me and left me in wonders.
i thought for hours until i finally figure it out,
but all i could only write was 3 words.
'i miss you'

random.

this is a random post. i need to rant, but i guess im not used to it anymo.

i need to tell, or at least say sumthin, but at the end of the day, nothin will come out from moi, like usual.

humans are fuelled by lust and desire, its so freaking true, no?

i never take things lightly, and i think a whole lot of evrything in the most complicated way.
at least before im off to bed, i need to think, like really really think.

the probability for me to miss sumone whenever the rain falls down is high, i tell you. and i have to double agree with myself. thats when the memoirs come along too. *sighhh*

i miss travelling, BIG time. being a traveller is a major fun. there's sumthin about it. i wish i could travel all around the world by myself, one fine day. one fact about me, im not a fan of shopping. i dont shop like the other girls normally do. i'd rather go to places where the view are naturally breathtaking,where i would just sit queitly and stare at its best. it would be more than enough for me. its a theraphy, of tranquility. :)

im on my one week break. done with endocrine exam. SSM's comin up. take a chill pill, yaw.
im off to melaka tomorow morning. need the new air. was literally half 'insane' and i have to keep myself sane again. heh.

off to bed now, righteo?
nightey, dont let the bed bugs bite alryte. :D