The journey.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

“To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.” (Al Baqarah:156)

I am a traveler, on a journey planned by my Rabb.

and I'm still searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm desperately in need of guidance. but deep down, I know Allah is there, always. My creator, and to Him I shall return.

Sungguh, pencarian itu memerlukan kesabaran. dan perjalanan mencari tuhan itu bukan mudah.

" Many of us lost God in our lives, but we claimed we're still alive"- Yasmin Mogahed.
Ironic,isnt it? Truth hurts, and reality bites. Nauzubillah.

Sungguh, titik permulaan mengenali tuhan itu  penuh cabaran dan ranjau, tapi hati-hati yang telus, ikhlas dan lunak hanya keranaNya akan menemui apa yg dicari, dgn izinNya.

I need a turning point of my life, for the better me, before its too late. The preparation to meet my Rabb. Nothing is too late except death.

"the man who decided to change on the 12th hour dies on the 11th"- Hlovate

 Its too deep, and it strikes me.


Hati manusia tu Allah yang pegang. dan Allah juga mampu membolak-balikkan hati manusia sekelip mata atas kehendakNya.


" Ya Allah, kau peganglah hati ini, jangan pernah sekali kau lepaskannya, dan dekatkanlah hati ini dgnMu, jadikanlah hati ini hati yg sentiasa mengingatiMu dan tidak sekali-kali melupakanMu"
I always need You.

Sungguh, pencarian itu terasa indah dan manis, penuh makna bila dilalui bersama-sama insan tersayang, sama-sama meraih kecintaan Sang Pencipta. Nikmat yg tak ternilai harganya.

I want to be in Jannah with people that I love. None of them to be left out. Together, forever in Jannah.
Only and only if you know, especially my family and my close friends. My muslim brother and sisters, and simply everyone.

Patience and sacrifices are all you need. I will, insyaAllah. 

Sungguh, da'wah itu bukan mudah.


Luahan hati,
hamba Allah yang khilaf.

Twenty second.

8th of May, 2012.
Alhamdulillah, another chance to breathe, another year to live,another opportunity to experience life, in different perspectives, views, and thoughts.

Alhamdulillah for your never ending blessings, Ya Allah.

Thank you, for all these loveliness. Thank you for being wonderful, people. I'm trully blessed.

May Allah bless.

=)

Lunch treat and choc indulgence from azi & ain.

Another surprise from my dearest Ummu Sulaym sisters.  :)

:)

Family dinner.  :)

Thank you for dropping by and for this cake, desh. :)

:)

Ummu Sulaym sisters, with missing numbers.

Made with love. Thank you farahin n shifaa. :)

Another surprise from beloved housemates. nadira was missing.

My inner strenght, my spinal cord. :)

Kuala Gula

 2 weeks of our Field Residential Programme, district posting. Beautiful memories, that will never be forgotten. Great time with awesome groupmates! ;)

Overdose.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and Assalamualaikum.

This post is pretty much on my current updates, and a lil bit of updates of the outdated stuff. ;p

1) Ended orthopaedic posting 2 weeks ago, and had my clinical exam in Taiping, while the rest of the papers and viva in Ipoh. Alhamdulillah, everythin went smoothly especially short case in Taiping. One thing for sure, Ill be missing orthopaedic especially 2 weeks we had in Taiping. Everything was just simply awesome. :) I never liked orthopaedic before, couldnt even remember what I learnt during phase 2 and 3A, but its like a huge turning point from 0 to 360 degrees this time when I started to gain interest from the very beginning of this posting till the end of it. Orthopaedic isnt that bad afterall, aint it? ;p

Last day of Orthopaedic posting in Taiping.

2) Overdosed with public health posting, and Its only the 2nd week of public health posting. Mentally and physically tired especially when we have to hear 7 lectures on different topics everyday plus tutorials. Thats a total killer. Brain freeze. Public health used to be an alien to me, during my preclinical years, and still am to me. in the process of adapting. cant wait to end this week, and start our Field Residential Programme next week. The only 2 things im exited bout this posting is because of the FRP as we are required to go to district areas for 2 weeks, and organise health services, health campaigns, special study and specific research to be conducted and another thing is when this posting involves the whole batch at the same period of time. the only posting that gathers us. :) Our group gonna be posted to Kerian. Hopefully everythin goes well, insyaAllah. :)

Public health assignments. zzz

Group dicussion during tutorial.

3) Time management is a big problem for me. Hafta use every single minute wisely due to our packed schedule. During this first 2 weeks, we have to find time to conduct meetings, and tonnes of workload need to be done before we go to allocated places this weekend for our FRP.

Our batch has decided to start planning for our graduation dinner, and dinner commitee has been formed. Ive been given the responsibility to be one of the comittee members, and we already had our first meeting yesterday, so here comes another commitment. Other than that, my partner n I planned to start our research as soon as possible, although its supposed to be carried out during our last posting, sumwhere in July. Another thing is, my study group and also usrah. Time is precious,and hopefully manage to use it wisely and get benefits from each of it. nawaitu itu penting. :)

So,thats about it.
Cant believe we have less than a year as a medical student, still cant imagine myself being a doctor.

n oh, Happy belated birthday to my dearest study groupmates: noy, mel and naqib. May Allah bless you! :)

140312

Awak.

Dear Future Husband ♥



I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want to be the one you call your wife. Your presence will give me happiness. You’ll be my halal prince charming. Riding your horse of Taqwa. Holding onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in your left. I hear you’re worth the wait, so I'll wait Insha’Allah.

My heart belongs to no one But ALLAH , I just thought I should let you know.

...

So please stay still and stand by me.
Even on the darkest of days.

Bulatan Gembira.

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me another chance to live for another day.

and thank you Allah, for sending me these beautiful people. I'm glad to be part of this 'Bulatan Gembira'.

O'Allah,Take us in the best way,Guide us every single day, and please Keep us close to You,until the end of time. Amin

teringat kata-kata kak wani:
"kepada akhawat2 yg disayangi, saya nak kita semua sama-sama berpimpin tangan dan berusaha untuk mencapai jannahNya, insyaAllah"

teringat jugak pesanan kak farah, yg pernah jadi my naqibah:
"teruskan budaya usrah, sbb usrah tu antara medium utk kt mendekatkan diri dgnNya, nanti bila dah kerja belum tentu ada peluang utk semua ni"

InsyaAllah, will keep that in my mind and my heart, always.
So lets hold our hands together, to achieve Jannah. :)

Semakin jauh ku dari-Mu
Semakin dekat pula Kau menghampiri daku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih
Siapalah diriku di pandangan-Mu

Semakin cuba ku dekati
Semakin kuat pula Kau mendugai aku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Sempurna
Kerdilnya diriku di hadapan-Mu

The cure of pain.

My very own version of love letter.

The most beautiful theraphy, the words of Allah. and nothing beats that.


Dear Shahira, La Tahzan. cuz Allah is the cure of all pain.

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (Qur'an 13:28)

Therefore remember Me, and I will remember you (Qur'an 2:152)

another beautiful theraphy.

my lullaby.

When the Sun Sets.

Sutera Harbour, Kota Kinabalu.30th November 2011

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta,

Cintakan aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu,

Agar bertambah kekuatanku mencintaiMu.

Ya Muhaimin jika aku jatuh hati,

Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati

Seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu,

Agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu.

Ya Rabbana jika aku jatuh hati,

Jagalah hatiku agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu.

Ya Rabbul Izzati jika aku rindu, Rindukanlah aku pada seseorang

Yang merindui syahid di jalanMu

Ya Allah jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu,

Janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi

Kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu.

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh

Dalam perjalanan jauh menyeru manusia kepadaMu.

Ya Allah jika kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku

Pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu.

Amiin…

"Aku mencintaimu kerana agamamu, jika hilang agamamu, maka hilanglah cintaku padamu." -imam an-nawawi

Sweet Lavender

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and Assalamualaikum.

Love-hate relationship with Neurology.

Hello November. I hafta admit I kinda miss rambling in my dear blog of mine. you've been loyal to me for almost,hmm 4 years? wow. eheh. been wanting to update a whole lot of everything, but yeah procrastination has always been my bestfriend. ;) now that I finally manage myself to update this blog, just forget about the whole lot of evrything, but just a little sumthin from time to time would do.

my dearest study groupmates.post exam dinner. naqib MIA.

1. First and Foremost, Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah that I passed my Final 3A exam. So,lets bid farewell to 3A and Hello 3B which makes me a medical student for another 1 year and 6 months? InsyaAllah,pray for my smooth sailing journey all the way. Thank you for never ending prayers and support(you know who you are). 3A was a very,very very tough year for me with major postings(Paeds, O&G, Medicine, Surgery, Specialty: Ortho, Neuro, Infectious disease, Ophthalmo, Psychiatry,Community Medicine). toughest year,toughest syllabus, toughest exam, the worst pre and post exam syndrome so far, u name it. now that I think of it, it was such a nighmare but at the end of the day,it turned out to be a beatiful nighmare instead. Those sleepless nights, and hard work were paid off,and most importantly,Allah always listened. syukur sgt. and me being isomniacs through out the year, was such a killer for me as I had to go through hectic days and stayed focus in class.the craziest was during final itself that I only managed to sleep for 1 n 2 hours. Its true there were times I was at the bottom most and I felt that I could not go on anymore,but giving up is not my thing. and the inner strength is always from you,O'Allah. I'm very much thankful for that :)

look at those messyness created. exam fever.

when books were my bestfriend,they were all over.

Since I entered medical school, I never had the courage to take results on my own. Its the scariest part for me to know whether you pass or fail,and thats about it. This year, my friends and I(noy and mel) went for a perfect getaway the next day after our final,on the same day results were realeased to be exact.we went to Cameron Highlands,when everyone else were at the college waiting for the results.the whole idea was to make ourselves stress free.kononnya lah kan. but it worked anyway. great momentos indeed. :D

Post exam treat

2. I'm currently enjoying my holidays before I start my elective soon. biasalah, org jakun dah lama tak dapat cuti. will be doing my elective in Queen Elizabeth Hospital,Sabah anyway. cant wait. went to Sabah twice, and fell in love with the place. and am really pampering myself during this short break. Thai massage,checked. facial,checked. reflexology,checked. and the list goes on. what matters the most is, spending my precious time with la familia and nothing beats that. :)

touched by this msg from a friend of mine, simple yet meaningful:

" kat sana nanti klu sorg2,ingat Allah selalu"

I will, kerana Dia sebaik-baik pelindung. =)

3. On the other note, counting the days for my little niece to come out soon. your auntie here cannot wait anymo,duk tunggu awk ni keluar. please at least let me see you before I start my elective,please. semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan for my dear sister and her baby. Amin. InsyaAllah, ill be getting another niece/nephew since my eldest sis has just confirmed to be pregnant. Alhamdulillah. thank you Allah. :)

Here is a little sumthing. I just love it. :)

"When you stop searching for a prince

and make Allah the king of your heart,

He will help you complete your fairytale."

ambiguity

salam. and err hello?

yes, i'm back. period.

am going through a difficult phase in my life and currently recollecting the pieces from the past.
heart.just.know.

"Some people are clinging to the past; others are worrying about the future"
can you sense the ambiguity, at least?

"Life isnt about being jolly all the time,
sometimes its a bitter pill to swallow" (2006)

but things happened with reasons anyway. "If only we knew what His plans were for us, our heart would melt with the warmth of His love"

sweet, aint it? =)

The bliss and beauty.

I was craving a home made lasagna.


Andddd, tadaaa. A home made lasagna specially for me, with love. teehee.

thank you kakak, you're awesome. Adik loves you! :)



It always, always feels good to be home. Being home always makes me feel extraordinarily special and thats the beauty of it.

Alhamdulillah, I'm blessed with a beautiful and perfect family.

Sayang mama and papa sampai syurga. :)

Happy Father's day papa! It was supposed to be your special day,
unfortunately had to celebrate it in the ward.

Mama, papa and my lovely siblings.

Last but not least, gambar bersama pesakit.