she was you.

Awak.

2012-02-16T05:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Future Husband ♥

I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want to be the one you call your wife. Your presence will give me happiness. You’ll be my halal prince charming. Riding your horse of Taqwa. Holding onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in your left. I hear you’re worth the wait, so I'll wait Insha’Allah.

My heart belongs to no one But ALLAH , I just thought I should let you know.

...

2012-02-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

So please stay still and stand by me.
Even on the darkest of days.

Bulatan Gembira.

2012-01-15T04:10:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me another chance to live for another day.

and thank you Allah, for sending me these beautiful people. I'm glad to be part of this 'Bulatan Gembira'.

O'Allah,Take us in the best way,Guide us every single day, and please Keep us close to You,until the end of time. Amin

teringat kata-kata kak wani:
"kepada akhawat2 yg disayangi, saya nak kita semua sama-sama berpimpin tangan dan berusaha untuk mencapai jannahNya, insyaAllah"

teringat jugak pesanan kak farah, yg pernah jadi my naqibah:
"teruskan budaya usrah, sbb usrah tu antara medium utk kt mendekatkan diri dgnNya, nanti bila dah kerja belum tentu ada peluang utk semua ni"

InsyaAllah, will keep that in my mind and my heart, always.
So lets hold our hands together, to achieve Jannah. :)

Semakin jauh ku dari-Mu
Semakin dekat pula Kau menghampiri daku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih
Siapalah diriku di pandangan-Mu

Semakin cuba ku dekati
Semakin kuat pula Kau mendugai aku
Oh, Tuhan Yang Maha Sempurna
Kerdilnya diriku di hadapan-Mu

The cure of pain.

2012-01-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

My very own version of love letter.

The most beautiful theraphy, the words of Allah. and nothing beats that.

Dear Shahira, La Tahzan. cuz Allah is the cure of all pain.

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (Qur'an 13:28)

Therefore remember Me, and I will remember you (Qur'an 2:152)

another beautiful theraphy.

my lullaby.

When the Sun Sets.

2011-12-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

Sutera Harbour, Kota Kinabalu.30th November 2011

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta,

Cintakan aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu,

Agar bertambah kekuatanku mencintaiMu.

Ya Muhaimin jika aku jatuh hati,

Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati

Seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu,

Agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu.

Ya Rabbana jika aku jatuh hati,

Jagalah hatiku agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu.

Ya Rabbul Izzati jika aku rindu, Rindukanlah aku pada seseorang

Yang merindui syahid di jalanMu

Ya Allah jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu,

Janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi

Kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu.

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh

Dalam perjalanan jauh menyeru manusia kepadaMu.

Ya Allah jika kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu,

Jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku

Pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu.

Amiin…

"Aku mencintaimu kerana agamamu, jika hilang agamamu, maka hilanglah cintaku padamu." -imam an-nawawi

Sweet Lavender

2011-11-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim and Assalamualaikum.

Love-hate relationship with Neurology.

Hello November. I hafta admit I kinda miss rambling in my dear blog of mine. you've been loyal to me for almost,hmm 4 years? wow. eheh. been wanting to update a whole lot of everything, but yeah procrastination has always been my bestfriend. ;) now that I finally manage myself to update this blog, just forget about the whole lot of evrything, but just a little sumthin from time to time would do.

my dearest study groupmates.post exam dinner. naqib MIA.

1. First and Foremost, Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah that I passed my Final 3A exam. So,lets bid farewell to 3A and Hello 3B which makes me a medical student for another 1 year and 6 months? InsyaAllah,pray for my smooth sailing journey all the way. Thank you for never ending prayers and support(you know who you are). 3A was a very,very very tough year for me with major postings(Paeds, O&G, Medicine, Surgery, Specialty: Ortho, Neuro, Infectious disease, Ophthalmo, Psychiatry,Community Medicine). toughest year,toughest syllabus, toughest exam, the worst pre and post exam syndrome so far, u name it. now that I think of it, it was such a nighmare but at the end of the day,it turned out to be a beatiful nighmare instead. Those sleepless nights, and hard work were paid off,and most importantly,Allah always listened. syukur sgt. and me being isomniacs through out the year, was such a killer for me as I had to go through hectic days and stayed focus in class.the craziest was during final itself that I only managed to sleep for 1 n 2 hours. Its true there were times I was at the bottom most and I felt that I could not go on anymore,but giving up is not my thing. and the inner strength is always from you,O'Allah. I'm very much thankful for that :)

look at those messyness created. exam fever.

when books were my bestfriend,they were all over.

Since I entered medical school, I never had the courage to take results on my own. Its the scariest part for me to know whether you pass or fail,and thats about it. This year, my friends and I(noy and mel) went for a perfect getaway the next day after our final,on the same day results were realeased to be exact.we went to Cameron Highlands,when everyone else were at the college waiting for the results.the whole idea was to make ourselves stress free.kononnya lah kan. but it worked anyway. great momentos indeed. :D

Post exam treat

2. I'm currently enjoying my holidays before I start my elective soon. biasalah, org jakun dah lama tak dapat cuti. will be doing my elective in Queen Elizabeth Hospital,Sabah anyway. cant wait. went to Sabah twice, and fell in love with the place. and am really pampering myself during this short break. Thai massage,checked. facial,checked. reflexology,checked. and the list goes on. what matters the most is, spending my precious time with la familia and nothing beats that. :)

touched by this msg from a friend of mine, simple yet meaningful:

" kat sana nanti klu sorg2,ingat Allah selalu"

I will, kerana Dia sebaik-baik pelindung. =)

3. On the other note, counting the days for my little niece to come out soon. your auntie here cannot wait anymo,duk tunggu awk ni keluar. please at least let me see you before I start my elective,please. semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan for my dear sister and her baby. Amin. InsyaAllah, ill be getting another niece/nephew since my eldest sis has just confirmed to be pregnant. Alhamdulillah. thank you Allah. :)

Here is a little sumthing. I just love it. :)

"When you stop searching for a prince

and make Allah the king of your heart,

He will help you complete your fairytale."

ambiguity

2011-09-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

salam. and err hello?

yes, i'm back. period.

am going through a difficult phase in my life and currently recollecting the pieces from the past.
heart.just.know.

"Some people are clinging to the past; others are worrying about the future"
can you sense the ambiguity, at least?

"Life isnt about being jolly all the time,
sometimes its a bitter pill to swallow" (2006)

but things happened with reasons anyway. "If only we knew what His plans were for us, our heart would melt with the warmth of His love"

sweet, aint it? =)

The bliss and beauty.

2011-07-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

I was craving a home made lasagna.

Andddd, tadaaa. A home made lasagna specially for me, with love. teehee.

thank you kakak, you're awesome. Adik loves you! :)

It always, always feels good to be home. Being home always makes me feel extraordinarily special and thats the beauty of it.

Alhamdulillah, I'm blessed with a beautiful and perfect family.

Sayang mama and papa sampai syurga. :)

Happy Father's day papa! It was supposed to be your special day,
unfortunately had to celebrate it in the ward.

Mama, papa and my lovely siblings.

Last but not least, gambar bersama pesakit.

Just like a song

2011-07-06T23:27:00.000-07:00

I've got a confession to make:

I miss these 3 people so much. I really do. :(

I miss hanging out with the three of you. I miss the good old days when we were sticking up with each other like a glue. I miss those times when we always had each other's back. I miss those times when we were so busy reminding each other about our birthday(s), and not to be forgotten, those wonderful surprise parties. and sumhow, I miss those drama(s) created among us. I miss those times when I had no one to rely on but you guys. I miss those days when we always listened to each other, be it the silly ones, or the good ones.
I'll never forget the day when you guys came along, we became friends, and attached to each other like a magnet. I'll never forget our super friendship, that I always thought of it as a unique, yet a beautiful one. Its funny how we became friends, It's even funnier how we could be so close to each other despite our different characters.

rindu sangat nak lepak dgn korang macam dulu.rindu zaman form 4 and form 5 yang terlalu banyak kenangan dengan korang. and basically, rindu semua lah.

tapi, sekarang semua dah lain. :(

How I wish I could turn back time.

rindunya! *sigh*

atypical

2011-07-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

...... : How are you doin? dah sihat?
moi: Alhamdulillah, dah sihat. I think i'm gettin much better.
...... : U think? mkn ur medicine tak?
moi: Ive completed my meds for the first time and I'm proud of myself. ;p
...... : Gud gurl!

Hello world. its been a while.
utk mereka-mereka yg tanpa henti mengambil berat tentang saya, hanya Allah yg dapat membalas jasa korang. May Allah bless all of you always. u know who you are.

Special thanx to my family, who's been taking care of me all the time, syida, desh, iylman, razi, abg ateh, shifaa, ainaa yg rajin msg/call to ask my conditions.

and many more, those who are not mentioned above. My Ipoh and Subang friends. you know you are. thank you!

I've fully recovered now. Alhamdulillah. was brought into casualty due to severe chills and rigor, resuscitated due to septic shock and diagnosed with atypical infection with history of intermittent fever, cough, running nose and sore throat 3 weeks prior to admission.

was ignorant much, and yes i was too stubborn, being reluctant to seek for any medical treatment, and take any medications. hence, the outcome. ;p thats the normal me anyway! Alhamdulillah, Allah tarik kejap je nikmat sihat. semoga ujian sakit sebagai kifarah dosa.

:)

Runaway train

2011-06-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Current mode: unidentified.

Its been a long tiring day, and I just got back from on-call. My official last day of oncall in Obstetrics and Gynaecology posting. O&G is coming to an end soon. cepatnya la masa berlalu. and ill b sitting for the end of posting exam next week. blergh. again, cepatnya masa berlalu. this week's schedule is crazier than usual. rasa macam tak sabar nak habiskan minggu ni cepat cepat sbb terlalu busy dan penat and it's only wednesday yaw. but the other part of me never want to leave O&G simply because I love almost every single thing about O&G, truthfully. hihi.

Procrastination has always been my best friend, and I always have issues with it. Its eating me alive.
One: Exam. and its O&G exam, one of the major postings.
Two: Case write up. 1 for Gynae, and 1 for Obs.

dan ternyatalah saya belum mengambil sebarang tindakan walaupun sekelumit.
exam next week, case write up and log book need to be submitted by this friday morning or else ZERO. and the crazy schedule is driving me up the wall. I can imagine myself staying up late at night struggling to get it done like how I struggled to complete my paeds write up a day before due date, last last nak dkt subuh baru tido. padan muka. tapi tak serik.

My sleeping pattern is even crazier nowadays.
My insomnia is getting worse. Like last night, when I finally able to sleep at almost 4 am.
And the extraordinary hot weather nowadays is also another issue. (tapi tak baik mengeluh sebenarnya)

Insanity starts to sink in.

Howeverrrr,

I suddenly feel the urge to start doing my case write up.
And its been raining since evening until now, a calming cool effect.

Current song: Runaway train, Soul Asylum.

mari bersemangat shahira anuar!

:)

The sweet 21.

2011-06-05T00:55:00.000-07:00

The Red Velvet from Heavenly. :)

I'm trully blessed being surrounded by these beautiful people, and I'm very much thankful for that, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for your never ending blessings, that I couldnt ask for more. :)

Thank you for the birthday wishes, surprises, gifts, and most importantly the prayers, love and care, people. *much love*

And despite everyone's busy-ness, they actually made time for me on my special day. terharu.

A short and simple post this time, but flooded with pictures, that surely represent the memories. :D

cuz they always bring out the best in me. I love you both, always.

la familia, my spinal cord. <3

All time favourite, Choc Indulgence from beloved housemates. syg korang semua!

Another choc cake from Coffee Bean, from the one and only mylaila. thank you dear. love it!
(not to forget, thank you azi n tmah for dropping by in the middle of the night and thanx for the prezzie n card jugak! :D )

another surprise, after a tiring on-call. :)

anddd, another yummy choc cake. ;)

My study group members, the sunshine after the rain, the colors of my life. :)

To my dearest study group mates, or better known as OSG, its the strong bond that keep us together, walaupun perangai kita semua sangattt berbeza, walaupun susah for the eight of us utk duduk sekali and jumpa, dan walaupun semua busy dgn posting masing2, lets stick together alryte? I wouldnt want to trade you guys for anythin else in the world.

The best part of the night when noy mentioned: "Aku nak nanti anak aku pon satu study group dgn anak2 korang". that was so random, freak much tapi comel. ;)

Macaroons session with shifaa dearest.

thank you awak, you made my day. :D

And those pictures wrapped it all, beautifully. Those moments that I'll cherish forever, insyaAllah.

thank you semua, for becoming part of my jigsaw puzzle, cuz without you people, I will never be able to put it all together and make a complete purrfect puzzle on my own. :)

fast car

2011-05-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

I hope I can play this song one day, for real. or can sumone please play me this song. either way, vice versa, whatever you call it. Ive always been in love with this song, still in love and will always be. especially this version. a cover version by Boyce Avenue. simply beautiful.

I really think that Boyce Avenue makes good cover songs. check it out on Youtube if you wanna listen to more songs. :)

to whom it may concern, I miss you!
there's actually something missing. period.

the sound of music.

2011-05-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

the new baby. :D :) ;) ;p :D

the weapon.

2011-05-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

"Yaa rabbil lakal"hamdu kama yanbaghii lijalaali wajhika, wa'aziimi sultaanik."
O my Lord, all praises be to You as it should be due to Your Might and the Greatness of Your Power.

kerna hanya Engkau yang Maha Sempurna, Ya Rabb. :)

heartache.

2011-04-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

and it hurts. I just realised that I have a heart to take care of too.

thyphoid vs thyphus.

2011-04-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

I was wandering around the hospital searching for a good case to present for bedside teaching tmrw morning. and god knows how hard it was to find the specific cases wanted by Dr. M (Tuberculosis/leptopirosis/HIV), as most of them have been presented already! went to all medical wards from level 1 to 8 asking all the doctors available and I finally gave up. lets see if there's a new admission in the evening.

until...

I received a news telling me that bedside teaching with Dr. M tmrw morning will be replaced by Dato' Gurdeep. should i consider myself as lucky? phew. what a relief, seriously. oh la la~ and with that, I can clerk any case of infectious disease instead of the limited options given. yippie yeay! lega sangat ok!

but but thats not the end of it. life is not all about happy ending kan? we still have to prepare for tomorow's seminar on Thyphoid & Thyphus with Dr. M and according to the previous groups, it has always been a total disaster. done with my part, but havent started reading the whole topic yet. so, good luck for tmrw. semoga segalanya dipermudahkan~ Amin.

kena marah pon tak kisahla. kena panggil schizophrenia pon tak kisah jugakla. looking at the positive side of it, I learnt a lot from you, and its bcuz of u I remember most of the things, apparently. aint that a good thing?

havent experienced any major depression, since phase 2 so far. of course we're talking about Dr. M's classes here. heh. mungkin dah terlalu immune.

see, i'm trying to be an optimist kan kan? :))

guess this is the result when u get overdose of Dr. M that uve finally reached the absolute refractory period.

selamat malam dunia~

daddy's little girl

2011-03-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

adik: pa, tiba2 adik kempunan nak makan jemput durian. hihi.
papa: nanti adik balik, pa masak la jemput durian special utk adik syg.

:):):)

If I were to get married one day, I want somebody like papa. A perfect father, husband, son, and friend but I know its just so hard to find one. I'm always proud to be your daughter, papa!

bonheur

2011-03-27T09:42:00.001-07:00

All praises to Allah, Alhamdulillah. :)

thank you for a wonderful day, thank you for this happiness. excited mode, still. teehee.

One:
Only god knows how much Ive been missing me lady, mylaila. terubat rindu, its been almost 2 weeks. :D

Two:
A simple and short, yet meaningful text message received.
"My upt positive"

and with that, I'm the happiest sister on earth. I know uve been having hard times with so many things happened in ur life, one of it was the miscarriage, but u're definetely a tough cookie sistah. me loves you always. *lotsa lotsa love*

Semoga hari-hari yg mendatang akan lebih indah. :)

i'll be.

2011-03-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Mr. H

2011-03-07T06:03:00.000-08:00

she: dah tau asthma, kurangkanlah minum ais.
Mr. H: jgn risaula. you sound like a gf and a mummy to me.
she: of course i'm worried. I 'used' to be ur good friend what. heh.
Mr. H: yes, and u'll always be. ;)

*speechless*

things are different now. we both are different now. but i'm still giving out my best and trying hard to keep this friendship. you can count on my words, and i hope ur keeping ur words too.

just so you know, when somethin's concerning you, i always care. and i mean it.
eventhough i might not show it most of the time.

take care buddy!

i know i'm a medical student when I....

2011-03-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

found this page on facebook and me thinks its pretty cool. and hilarious too.

You know u're a medical student when...

- You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for, and realise you’ll get a medical doctor title the same time your friend gets a PhD doctor title.

- You get depressed and emotional just thinking about how bad a doctor you’ll become in a few years.

- You answer every question with, “Hmm (pretending to think for a second), I don’t know.” And you know the most correct answer is, “It depends, sir.”

You instantly feel that you want to bang your head against the wall whenever someone says “You’re a medical student? You must be very smart then!”, because it’s an unbearable accusation.

- Conversations with people involve “So tell me what happened.”, “So how does that make you feel?”, and “I understand it must be very difficult for you.”

You count the days till your next more-than-two-days-weekend-break, which is at least 4 months away.

It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.

*these are the things that i'm currently facing, at least.

goodbye.

2011-02-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

they say, saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do.
and i say, i cant agree more.

i cant really remember, when was the last time i cried my heart out. like really really cried. its not even in my memory. until yesterday, when i sent mama, papa and ida off for umrah.
shame on me. adam pon cool je. i couldnt hold my tears when i hugged ida. they've not left yet, and all i knew i missed em already.

its not sumthin usual for me. selalunya bila hantar ma or pa or any of my family members for umrah, paling-paling pon my eyes became teary. i dont know what had taken into me this time. emotions were taking control all over me. its the time of the month i guess. boo shahira, boo. maybe this is the first time ida left me. she's the only one in the family who never leaves home and she's always been available for us, especially this manja sister of hers. and usually when ma n pa were not around, shes the one who took care of us, and the ketua keluarga in the family.
she's the closest elder sister of mine, who forever layan my kerenah, who always brings me out for jalan-jalan, and cook my favourite dishes. that explains this extraordinary emotional breakdown.

anyway, they have arrived safely. syukur Alhamdulillah. selamat menunaikan ibadah umrah ma, pa and ida. semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan di sana dan mendapat umrah mabrur, insyaAllah. i really really miss the three of u. i do. take care. love, adik.

on the other note, i'm currently missing my bestfriend dearly. can i atleast get a hug and have you temporary wit me, pretty please. just so you know, i love you!

nyata dan maya.

2011-01-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

Cekallah sayang
Dalam menempuhi dunia ini saban hari
Adakalanya mendung jua kunjung
Bersabarlah

Ku kan selalu denganmu,kasih
Dalam jasadku yang nyata atau maya
Kerana ku terlalu mengendah
Suka dukamu setiap ketika

:)

2011-01-12T05:20:00.000-08:00

cupcakes made by her on my birthday.

she: salam shirota. awk demam lagi ke?
moi: w'salam. kt dah tak demam. but still batuk and flu. kt baru je comment awk dkt fb. our hearts are connected kann? ;p

she: yeke?haha, biaselah. instinct! ;) tgh study ye? nak teman awk study bole?hehe. dah makan belom? kalau belom, meh kt belikan food utk awak! :)

moi: alahai. chomelnya la awk ni. thanx dear. kt da makan td. kt tgh sgt tak bersemangat nak study. tak sabar nak balik!
she: hey. kesiannya awk! do u want bubur? i can buy for u! awak, kt tanak kacau awk study. buat elok2 tau esok! :)

and i'm still smiling.

sharifah shifaa,thank you my dearest. awk adalah antara orang yg paling kt syg tau tak? youre the sweetest thing. *loves*

Pulau Manukan, Sabah. 2009

Tanjung Aru, Sabah. 2009

Riverfront, Ipoh. 2010

Waterfront, Sabah. 2009

Futsal, 2010

SSM, 2009

Lost world of tambun. 2009

midst of midnight

2011-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Its 3.30 a.m

Its currently raining in the midst of the midnight.

Tomorrow is the end of posting exam.

EMQ,MEQ,OSCE, followed by short case on thursday.

I'm currently listening to Al-kahfi by Mishary Al-Afasy.

Simply soothing, and beautifully recited. MasyaAllah.

Nothing beats the words of Allah, the most powerful of all :)

dan hati kembali merasa tenang setelah jiwa yg berkecai bercantum kembali.
its a rather heartbreaking news.
hanya padaMu kami memohon, ya Allah.
hanya Engkau yg mendengar luahan hati ini, maka perkenankanlah doa kami.
Amin.

perfect theraphy,

2011-01-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

hello.

its finally weekend again, and here i am in Ipoh. I'll be sitting for my end of posting exam next week. sooo many things to read yet so little time. and I need to submit my three case write ups on monday but I havent started anything yet. yes, I cant seem to stay focus and I'm pretty much carried away. Its a part of medical student's syndrome. tiada yg pelik bukan. I'm down with flu, cough, sore throat and fever, all in one u see. guess its due to post hectic week, or maybe its the wheather or maybe due to all sort of infections in the PICU since ive been in PICU in a week. mungkinlah.

howeverr, last weekend was a blast. thank you Allah. dan terima kasihlah atas kejayaan pasukan bola sepak negara. kerana anda semualah kami berjaya dpt cuti pada hari jumaat where it changed everything. I wasnt in a mood, really. but then again, due to public holiday, my family came with a last minute plan to go to PD since everyone was around. PD is sumhow a place which brings sentiments to me since its where our family had spent most of our time for a vacation since we were small. mungkin sbb its the nearest place that we can go for vacation, sbb sgt susah utk semua org cuti sama time. so kalau pg cuti pon dpt pg dkt je. and since my family enjoy cooking, rather than eating outside, we choose PD of all places. sbb byk tempat yg sgt convenient utk masak dkt PD. :)

its BBQ time!

my boy. <3

heroes of Anuar. :)

adam seronok dpt abg ipar baru. :)

god knows how much ive been longing to go to beach tapi selalu ada je halangan. going to beach is like the perfect theraphy for me especially when im down. baru sy nampak hikmahnya when i finally dpt pg beach this time, plus its complete thirteen. maka, semua kelihatan sgt sempurna. i had quality time with my loved ones. thank you Allah. terima kasih kerana menggembirakan hati sy setelah melalui hari-hari yg sedih. You just know best. :)

muka gembira dapat pg beach. :D

the lovebirds. :)

p/s: didnt get to take picture of complete thirteen though. sob sob. :(

another thing, I was finally able to spend time with my loved ones. major catching up. terubat rindu! thank you batch, annis and maliq. you guys made my day! sayang korang! rindu dahhh. :(

come rain,come shine.

2010-12-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

hello hello.
come rain come shine.

so, the climax of the whole story is my sister's wedding which i will post the pictures later. by the way, my two sisters are now officially Puan. and i'm the happiest sister alive. congratulations kakak(s).
and welcome to our big family Abg Hakim and Abg faiz. we're complete thirteen now. teehee. :D

Alhamdulillah, everythin went smoothly and turned out good. The Akad Nikah ceremony was on 18th Dec and the three receptions were on(23rd, 25th,26th).

dan saya masih rasa penat sampai hari ni walaupun bukan sy yg kawin due to the back and forth journey: Taiping-Ipoh-Subang Jaya. had to go back every weekend before the wedding to help out with the wedding preparations, when the schedule was super packed, with tonnes of workload. i was more like a walking zombie, when i slept only for few hours almost every day. no one to blame but me, guess my imsonia is gettin worse. the worst thing is, everytime i feel too tired, its harder for me to doze off. ironically ironic, it is.

and now im back in ipoh. these 2 weeks gonna be equally hectic, im pretty sure. so, good luck to myself.

ive got another confession to make. letting go is always the hardest thing to do. people always leave kan, and nothing stays forever. i hafta double agree with that. my sisters were sent off to the grooms family right after receptions at groom's side where they have to stay there for a week. it feels different, if you get what i mean. i was so used to have everyone around. it doesnt feel right when one of us left. its the bond btwn us. its true that blood is thicker than water.

i was so used to wake up in the morning with full of noises in the house. and it feels so good when the house is congested with too many people. it just doesnt feel right when the house is empty and you hear nothing but silence. its awful.

a home is never a home without these people. nothing beats the feeling of being home. its the other side of me when im with them.

Bukit Cerakah, 27th Dec 2010.

papa would kiss me on the forehead gently to wake me up for subuh prayer. mama would always cook favourite dishes for her children everytime we get back. elder sisters and brother would always treat me like a manja baby, where i would do the same thing to the younger ones. and the best thing is when you get countless warm hugs that never fail to make you feel better and thats about them, my loved ones, my spinal cord.

rindu dah. :(

serenity

2010-12-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

Taman Tasik Taiping, 14th december
1800-1900

one fine evening:

mother: look at those trees, can you spot the white color on the trees? its actually a bird.
father: try to count the birds, and tell me how many are there. you see, now u can still count them but just wait a little while, there will be many more that you cant count them anymore.
son: really mummy, daddy? wow.
one bird, two bird, three bird..
father: they look so tiny, arent they? but after this, you'll notice pretty flowers on those trees.

after a while:

son: mummyy, look! the birds are flying over there.
mother: yes dear. the birds are finally going home. look at the way they fly and finally landed on the trees. they actually have a skill. isnt it amazing?
son: yes, they look so amazing.
son: daddy, look daddy. (jumping excitedly) there are so many of them that i cant count anymore!
son: oh no. they are going away now.
mother: they are not going away, honey. they are calling their friends to come home with them.
'come home, come'
son: no wonder there are so many of them after one and another.
mother: arent they pretty? it seems like paradise.
son: what is paradise, mummy?
mother: paradise is a very high class place, honey.

and they watched the sunset silently.

i listened quietly and smiled all the way while watching the view at its best.
the smile upon my face is the refection of my heart, cuz deep down, i know my heart smiled too.

its all about the tranquility, of serenity. i enjoyed the breathtaking view, and i enjoyed myself listening to the conversations of an anxious 6 year old child with their parents.

at the end of the day, i told myself, i want to be that kind of mother too.
its just so chomel, dont you think so.

=)

sunshine

2010-11-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

today's weather's forecast:

i'm feeling much better than yesterday, and i guess i started to adapt myself.
had a meet up session with my studygroup mates regarding some matters and it feels so good to be able to gather up the 8 of us again. guess i'm so used to have them around, that it feels so weird when we are not able to see each other that often.

semua posting lain kann. and semua pon sgt busy. susah dah nak jumpa. akan rindu! 2 hari pon dah rindu. am i being too mushy here?

korang korang semua, saya sgt gembira dapat jumpa korang tadi. betul, tak tipu. thank you desh, for the short trip tadi. and it was raining heavily. walaupun kejap, terasa sgt sweet. and thanx muadz terpaksa layan ktorg. we're family, afterall kan? ;p
saya tau saya terlebih gula hari ni. finee.

Sadesvaran Muniandy
Had a short trip wit OSG mates from Coll to UO then to Masjid Parking. Looking forward for the next trip. Thanx to Mr Heavy Rain - Aseerah Ahmad, Shahira Anuar, Rd Ai'nulkhair and Muadz Mohtar and Mealiella Omar.

Rd Ai'nulkhair what is OSG? nway sorry susahkan desh! huhu.THANX A BILLION! :)
Shahira Anuar omg desh. i was just about to post sumthin like this. korang so chomel lah. tak kisahla short trip pon, still had a great time. thank youuu desh! :)
Sadesvaran Muniandy hahahaha..
kite kan satu kepala, mesti lar tindakan pun lebih kurang sama
hehehe
Aseerah Ahmad hahaha tu la! cant wait for the taiping trip! ^ ^

and it's never a coincicident. I was reading God's Love letter where i found this. nothing beats the power of ur love, O'Allah. thank you Allah, for making me smile again. :))

"Allah lah yg mengirimkan angin, lalu angin itu menggerakkan awan, dan Allah membentangkannya di langit menurut yg Dia kehendaki, dan menjadikannya bergumpal-gumpal, lalu engkau lihat hujan keluar dari celah-celahnya, maka apabila Dia menurunkannya kepada hamba-Nya yang dia kehendaki tiba-tiba mereka bergembira, padahal walaupun sebelum hujan diturunkan kepada mereka, mereka benar-benar telah berputus asa-
Ar-Rum:48-49

"Allah lah yg menciptakan kamu dari keadaan lemah, kemudian Dia menjadikan kamu setelah keadaan lemah itu menjadi kuat-Ar-Rum:54)

amazing kan? subhanallah. I love you Allah, always. :)

dyspnea

2010-11-30T05:26:00.000-08:00

Its only the second day of phase 3A, but everyone's complaining about their postings. guess it was a bad day for most of us, and im pretty sure we shared the same feelings equally on our very first day of 3a. kejutan budaya mungkin. i gotta admit i was a bit down yesterday, and its due to multifactorial causes. everything has changed drastically, and turning to the point of 360 degrees from nil.

we're all suffocating, arent we? baru 2 hari tapi dah terasa susah nak bernafas.

"its only the first day of 3A, but i feel so stressed, 3A is so stressful"
" korang pernah terasa nak quit medic tak?"

those were few lines from my friends.

pastu gerun tgk seniors 3A. they are in the midst of their final btw. semua muka sgt stress dan tak okay. heard both papers were really tough.
pastu status facebook semua org pon sgt depressing. our batch stress masuk 3A yg super busy, while seniors stress exam yg sgt susah. konklusi, semua stress. and its soo depressing i tell you.

lets take a deep breath. its the process of adapting. i'm sure everythings gonna be fine, sooner or later. kt semua kena kuat.

tapi sy pon tatau kenapa terasa sgt lemah semalam. penat dah pujuk diri sendiri. its the time of the month i guess.

"Your family won't change, your friends won't change, people around you won't change, but its you who need to change yourself in order to survive."

one of my friends said this to me yesterday. and i gave myself a deep thought of it. its true kan? :)

horizontally vertical.

2010-11-28T08:13:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah.

Final was over. results were out, and i could finally breathe again. all praises to Allah, it was way beyond my expectations, and yes, i was out of words. its the greatest feeling ever to see your parents smiling widely, and to make ur siblings proud of you. its like a rainbow day for me. i guess all the hardwork finally paid off. berkat study dalam jemaah dan yg paling penting, rezeki Allah bagi. semua ni milik DIA, insyaAllah sbg pemangkin masa depan. :)

thank you everyone for the prayers.

and and the climax of the story is all of us passed this exam. together we created a history, and we shall remain this in the future, insyaAllah. lets say NO to supplement. seronok dapat masuk phase 3a dgn semua. :D

i have a confession to make. if any of you happen to read this post, (mel, tira, raden, iylman, naqib, desh, muadz) just wanna let you know that you guys are awesome and the best of the best. i'm so happy to be part of this study group. syg korang sgt2 lah. thank you(s) for everything. hanya Allah yg dapat balas jasa korang. and i had great time with you guys, and paling penting tak rasa sekelumit stress pon dgn korang.
congratulations on passing guys. remember our plan after exam? am really looking forward to it :))

and oh, thank you to my subang friends for ur never-ending support and prayers. you know who you are kan? sangat terharu n syg korang semua. you guys are very much appreciated, and totally missed. :) :(
please stick with me, and stand by me thru out my journey sbb korang semua adalah pemangkin sy.

this is specially for u maliq: thank you sbb selalu bg semangat, and layan stress kt, semua pre and post exam syndromes dari zaman pasum, sampai lah sekarang. sorry sbb selalu cari awk. please dont ever get tired of me okayy? ill always treasure that. :D

its sunday and tomorrow is monday. its the monday blues again. blergh. mungkin sbb cuti kejap sgt.
so, say Hello to Monday, and please treat me good.

the most important thing is, Hello Phase 3A, and my new groupmates, Goodbye Phase 2. its gonna be a tough road ahead, im pretty sure. good luck semua!
goodnight.

2010-11-21T20:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Allah,

I guess i'm too tired. but i know i wont give up. it will never happen. ill fight till the very end. its the final lap, and all i have to do is keep on running steadily,carefully. I need strength from u, O'Allah, as i'm only a humble servant of yours.

I know u always listen. please be with me in every steps that i take. and i always need YOU the most.

its not wrong to feel tired sometimes kan?
its almost there shahira. tomorrow is the day. you gonna win the battle, insyaAllah.
good luck to phase 2 students!

"Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side"

courtesy of incik naqib.

“Ya Haiyyum, Ya Qayyum, dengan rahmatMu daku memohon pertolongan. Baikilah seluruh urusanku, dan janganlah Engkau serahkan diriku ini kepadaku walaupun sekelip mata”

"Wahai Tuhanku, lapangkanlah bagiku, dadaku; "Dan mudahkanlah bagiku, tugasku; "Dan lepaskanlah simpulan dari lidahku, "Supaya mereka faham perkataanku"

(Taha : 25,26,27)

2010-11-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

hello,
can you hear me?
am i gettin through to you?

guess u've been gone for too long.

A Gritos de Esperanza

2010-11-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

while studying silently, at the very same spot, in front of the window, staring at the night dark sky,
with the breeze of cold air, and its a raw drizzling rain outside.

and i just cant help myself from being distracted for a while.

*5 minutes break.

rinduuu. hmm. =(

i need a break. not exactly a break. but a perfect get away instead. mind me, its the pre-exam syndrome again. BUT but, even "drugs need a holiday"-quoting Dr. Sabitha. only if you get what i mean.

okay dah. get back to study. please stay focus.

you.

2010-11-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

dear you(you know who you are),

terima kasih anda,
simpy for everthing.
thank you for listening patiently without hesitations,
thank you for always making me feel better,
thank you cuz you never failed to be there for me,
thank you for those advises that i would always treasure.
thank you for always being understanding.
and thank you for being just you.

just wanna let u know, that ure very much appreciated.
now that ive spilled it out, guess i'm feeling much better.

sorry for the troubles, and hopefully ull never get tired of me.

terima kasih anda, you made my day. =)

dancing in the rain. =)

2010-10-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail.

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close
Don't be afraid, there's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you, you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain.

imma tough cookie afterall. =)

megalomaniac.

2010-10-20T01:25:00.000-07:00

"I just feel we are not like we used to be, thats all"

and thats a totally ouch. i know things are not the same anymo. and we both have changed. but at least, im trying hard to make things better, cant you see? i guess its forever me who remembers every single thing, and you did not even bother to remember, nor you care. memories are not mend to be forgotten, and promises are not mend to be broken. ive told you once, n now ive told you twice.

at least, please remember that I used to be a part of your life, and you used to be someone important to me.

awk tu ego sgt. tapi sampai bila?

i'm so disappointed.

stand by me

2010-09-24T06:01:00.001-07:00

When the night has come, and the land is dark,
And the moon is the only light we see,
No i won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid,
Just as long as you stand, stand by me.

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall,
Or the mountain should crumbe to the sea,
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear,
Just as long as you stand, stand by me.

=)

goodbye Medicine.

2010-09-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

Its kinda relief that medicine posting is finally over. its just too hectic especially yesterday when we had 2 bedside teachings with dr.Hla and dr. Mra, but Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah when everything went smoothly and it ended well. compared to the very first all-mixed-up-feelings, i hafta agree that medicine aint that bad afterall. one thing for sure,its real challenging and you gotta be all prepared for it. anyhoo, surgery is always my first of choice, so far. we'll see how it goes for another 2 postings left.

and oh, Hello Orthopaedics. please treat me well, so I will like you too! :)

Exam more or less in 2 months time but i havent started anything yet. I can see the changes in atmosphere.

The best theraphy after a packed and hectic week, is going back to the place where i belong, home sweet home.aint no other place like home, definitely. ;)

Oh monday blues.

2010-09-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

bismillahirrahmanirrahim, pembuka kata. =)

so here i am, feel like writing again. after some time. yes. i only write when i feel like writing.

and here i am, gaining the semangat which was apparently gone few days before the holiday was about to end. the semangat is back, after i went back home again, after being in ipoh for only 3 days. nothing beats the feeling of being home. its always something beautiful and i would always appreciate every single second at home with my loved ones.

my family has always been my priority on top of everything. and i always look forward for holiday to come, plus when the siblings are all around. was looking forward to spend our quality time together. its the best feeling ever when we're complete. its the strong bond which is unbreakable that make us what we are.

n oh btw, my 2 sisters are getting married soon and they're gettin married at the same time, on the same day, insyaAllah. cool innit? i was out of words when i heard the news. its the mixed feelings again. of course i was trully happy for them, but at the same time, i cant deny that its hard for me to let them go. kalau boleh taknak sape2 pon kawin, and lets stay together forever dgn mama n papa. ok, thats so the childish side of me. abaikan. tapi saya sgt gembira ok. tell me who doesnt. my prayers will always b wit u. adik loves you both! :))

I had this monday blues awal drpd semua orang since classes started early and i dreaded the thought of going back to ipoh early when my family still on hols.
As mama was sending me off at the bus station, she started to shed some tears. sy pon start lah emo kan tp berlagak macho. then:

nano: nano dah rindu adik. =(
abe: lain bgn pagi2 adik takde, missing you dah le.
ya:nape balik ipoh awal sgt. i miss you. =(

maka hati dan jiwa raga terbang melayang dkt rumah. and kakak forced me to come back home again, jadi saya pon pulanglah. (plus the sarung cincin occasion) IPOH-SUBANG JAYA aint that far though. =)
kami semua mmg tak boleh berpisah, cause we are simply inseperable.

and the day before nano went back, she had this super duper chronic monday blues. she even cried few times, and cried again when she hugged me and abe.
"nano taknak balik sepang"-sepang je kannn. see how chronic it is.
my sister who was studying in sarawak used to has even worse symptom everytime nak balik sarawak. it runs in the family i guess. heh.

these are my fun and happening siblings. =)

EID MUBARAK 10

my pillar of strength. <3>

its been 9 years we've grown up together, and i am still couting. =)

saying goodbye is always the hardest thing to do. i miss you already. period. see you next summer, bestfriend.

p/s 1: and they are the reasons that keep me smiling. *loves*
p/s 2: Medicine posting is about to end in less than a week. semangat, please stay still, and remain as the way it should be. I'll behave, i promise. =)

unnamed feeling.

2010-09-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

this song has always been my favourite. dulu, kini, selamanya. something sentimental to me.

Lyrics | Warisan Wanita Terakhir lyrics

then, the unnamed feeling,
it comes alive,
then the unnamed feeling,
takes me away.

and its funny that most of the time when i feel like writing, its actually raining on the outside.
its the unnamed feeling, again.

pride and dignity

2010-08-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

mari kt sama-sama mengucapkan syukur Alhamdulillah kepada Allah atas segala nikmat kurniaaNya. one word, Alhamdulillah. we managed to end it with pride and dignity kan rakan-rakan group 8. so, mission accomplished. fair enough. (tiru ayat Dr wong) we ended surgery posting with 2 classes in a row with Dr Wong. enough to make my heart going all dup dap dup dap. Dr. Wong is definetely something something. and you must be well prepared or you'll smell the sarcasm everywhere. its not a bad thing though. the pressure is there, and yes bedside teaching with Dr. Wong is forever fun to me.

im so in love with surgery posting. like really really in love. pastu asyik berangan nak jadi surgeon lah kan. btw, i know i have to be mentally and physically prepared for the busiest posting ever, Medicine. dan mungkin jugak saya akan menghadapi PMS( Pre Mra Syndrome) tachycardia again. what more, its gonna be on Ramadhan.im so gonna take the challenge, so bring it on. heh. ;)

saya tak nak jadi orang yg suka mengeluh. no matter how bad its going to be, saya akan cuba utk tidak mengeluh. saya tak nak semua amalan saya sia-sia. saya selalu rasa kalau saya mengeluh, sia-sia semua pahala saya. saya nak menjalani hidup ni dgn tenang je. nawaitu kt penting, barulah kt akan rasa manisnya melakukan amal makruf nahi munkar tu kan. dan belajar tu pon ibadah, jadi jgnlah kt cepat merasa lelah dalam menuntut ilmu. =)

went to ceramah umum by Ustaz Hasan Din just now. the title itself is meaningful enough. "Mengenang Badar, Mengintai Qadar" isi-isi yang sungguh menarik dengan maksud2 yg tersirat and tersirat. makanan hati yg sentiasa dahagakan pengisisan rohani. mmg berkait rapat dgn hidup kt, cuba correlate Perang Badar pada bulan Ramadhan and perjuangan kt yg tak seberapa dalam menuntut ilmu dan melawan segala nafsu dalam bulan Ramadhan. renung-renung kan lah. =)

p/s: Ramadhan is coming soon. rindunya Ramadhan. semoga kami diberi peluang bertemu Ramadhan ini Ya Allah. Ahlan wa sahlan Ya Ramadhan. ;)

please guide me in every single way, O Allah. I love you, always!

2010-07-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hiding from the rain and snow,
Trying to forget but I won't let go,
Looking at a crowded street,
Listening to my own heart beat.

last slide prepared for english presentation.

That rain is gloom and sunshine happiness is rather metaphorical. kann? but well, it depends. ;)

p/s: saya rasa nak pergi beach je sekarang.
oh, pretty please. ada tak org nak bwk saya?

Standing on a mountain high,

Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky. =)

210710

2010-07-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

happyyyy sweet 18th bday to my lil sis who is not so lil anymore. selamat hari lahir ke dunia!! syg awk banyak banyak mcm bulan, bintang, galaksi dan banyak lagi. ;p

see you this weekend okay mokna?
loves.

mokna with his handsome arjun. loser kid. ;p

kami adalah kawan baik. always. <3>

on the other note, today was equally awesome. the case presentation on 'Breast Abscess' went really well. Alhamdulillah. "you both did really well. well done!" thank you Dato' Subra. its the self satisfaction afterall, and definetely a lot more to learn and still improving for the better.

i always think that surgery posting is awesome. i'm loving single bits of it. ;)

im not planning to go home this weekend, but but i changed my mind today and bought the ticket already.
papa called yesterday: "Adik taknak balik jaga papa ke?"
btw, papa is having eyes infection,its been 2 weeks now, and currently under quarantine. both eyes are soo red and teary, and it doesnt get any better for now. praying for ur speedy recovery pa. love you!

and mama wants me to come home. and mokna also kept on calling me and asked me whether im coming back tak. maka, decision is finally made. :)
(sorry clah tak dpt pg Bon Odori dgn awk. =( )

my favourite quote of the day:
**menstruation is a crying of uterus for wanting a baby!
-Dato' Subra.

omg, cute gilaaa kan. tell me its cute. i just cant stop imagining.

=)

best of you.

2010-07-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

this is so random, and my love goes to all of you. its really nice to be able to meet you guys again, after some time. despite the distance, you guys are still the same old, my all time favourite subang people that i love. and you guys are still the same old crazy people that i would laugh with. it feels good having you people around, the warmth is forever there.

cuz you guys bring out the best in me.

The bestfriend, Annis Natalia Abd Hamed Shah.
the one that i miss the most!

Sofiya Wan Mohd Nor,
Ive been missing you and I mean it! glad to meet you again. :D

Nina Farhana Saleha Rahim,
the one who always care about me! appreciate it dear. =)

Nurhani Hussein,
its been a WHILE kann. miss you kakak!

The Awesome Foursome,
Siti Aliah Kamarudin and Nur Basirah Borhanuddin, saya rindu awak awak jugak selalu.

my favourite people, always!
Azzy Iyzati, and Maliq Fariz! <3>

and my favourite girls too! <3

BFF <3>

and syam, ur not forgotten! n anyway, welcome home. its good to see you again. nanti jumpa lagi kayyy? =)

till we meet again,
from Ipoh with love. ;)

starlight starbright

2010-07-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

i forever love this song.

Lyrics | Yellow lyrics

"look at the stars, look how they shine for you" =)

sempurna. =)

2010-07-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

dengan lafaz bismillah, saya memulakan coretan ini. =)

as a saying goes,start a day with a smile, and end the day with a smile. as simple as ABC. tapi kalau nak lebih sempurna, start a day with His words,end the day with His words. lagi afdhal kan. what matters the most is our nawaitu. with good intentions, many many good things will come our way. its the sweetness of life. :)

its 1.18 a.m, and im still awake creating this post. i just feel like blogging. perasaan yg membuak-buak. but its so unusual of me to write about my daily routines. tapi hari ni saya rasa macam nak bercerita. 'dear diary, today i woke up at...' that kinda thing. tauu kann?

so, here we go. heh. started off the day dgn rutin-rutin normal lah kan. lectures, followed by bedside teaching in the morning. its the first week of our posting btw, and currently im in a surgery posting. very interesting i shall say. and today we presented the same case to dr venkatesh, from patients that we clerked yesterday. my patient is diagnosed with Triple A, Peripheral Artery Disease, and few other findings. sangat interesting. but have to read up more bout the cases, wajibul ghunnah. done with bedside teaching, saya berkejar kejar sampai tingkat 8 just to observe procedures. the doctors esp HO were superbly nice, but unfortunately, not many procedures around that time. managed to observe few only.

back from college, went to driving class. but i coudnt really focus. most of the time i got carried away. haih. shahira, shahira. mungkin penat kot. ditambah lagi puasa hari ni since its Rejab. back from driving class at 7, then berkendiri dan went out for berbuka with my housemates.

at 8.30, my housemates and I went to A&E to observe more procedures since we missed most of it. mula-mula mcm terasa malas nak pg sbb mcm dah collapse, tp kuatkan semangat. menuntut ilmu tu kan satu ibadah. then terlintas, Rasulullah n tentera Islam menang perang Badar, and its during ramadhan. betapa kuatnya semangat jihad mereka. tapi ni baru penat sikit, konon sbb bz hari ni and puasa, dah mengeluh.

setibanya di A&E, firstly we managed to observe a suture on patient with MVA. the MA even asked us whether we want to carry the procedure, but since we are not allowed to do so at this level, observe je lah. then pegi red zone, banyak procedures but too bz. hampa lalu beralih ke yellow zone. the doctors there were super nice i tell you. we managed to observe many procedures and even allowed to assist the doctors. its the self satisfaction. masa tu terasa hilang segala penat. sgt puas hati. syukur Alhamdulillah. but then again, have to read up more. tak guna kalau observe with no knowledge kann. while talking to the patients, tiba-tiba teringat a reminder from mama;

"Orang yang sedang
menjenguk (melawat) orang sakit.Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda,
maksudnya: "Tidaklah seorang mukmin menjenguk saudaranya kecuali
Allah akan mengutus 70,000 malaikat untuknya yang akan berselawat
kepadanya di waktu siang hingga petang dan di waktu malam...hingga
... Subuh."

MasyaAllah. Amazing bukan. tapi keikhlasan tu penting. masa tu baru anda akan perasan hati anda tersenyum. =)

thats the story of the day. better off to bed now.

*case reports to submit tmrw : checked
*baca surah Al-Kahfi: checked
*call family: checked

hmm, what else?
amik wudhuk, baca doa and there you go shahira anuar.

selamat malam.

(something/someone has made my day, and i can see my heart smiling widely. :D)

terasa hari begitu sempurna walaupun penat. thank you Allah. I Love You. ;)

khas utk awk

2010-06-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sahabat yang beriman ibarat mentari
yang menyinar. Sahabat yang setia bagai pewangi yang mengharumkan.
Sahabat sejati menjadi pendorong impian. Sahabat berhati mulia membawa
kita ke jalan Allah.

and i wouldnt want to trade you for anythin else in this world, for you're one of the precious gifts to me.
thanx for everythin mekcah.
this might sound cliche, but yeah, i miss you a lot!

i guess you understand me even more than i do.
awak tau bila kt tak okay bila orang lain tak pernah sedar pon.
and you simply know how to make me feel better with HIS words.
thank you for being you.
and thank you for always bringing me near to HIM, the great Almighty.

so, please stay with me and stand by me.
because i always need sumone like you in my life.

sy sayang ini budak!

Tg Aru, Sabah.
070709

p/s: rindu nak gado and dgr awk membebel!

Ikhlas,

Yang Jauh Di Mata.

medical remedy.

2010-06-29T03:02:00.000-07:00

salam.

the awesome 4 weeks filled with joy and laughter has just ended. somehow, i miss having you guys around. had a really great time dengan korang. to my dearest ex groupmates, good luck in evrything you do alryte. eventhough we're not in the same group anymo, we'll still be seeing each other in college kann. and and semoga ukhuwah persahabatan antara kita kekal selamanya, insyaAllah. =))

the precious moments!

a future-dokturah-to-be. insyaAllah. =)

Berkata Imam Shafie "tidak aku melihat ilmu
yg paling afdhal selepas mana ilmu syariah spt mana ilmu perubatan. Jika ingin berpindah ke suatu kawasan tentukan ada 2 golongan iaitu ulama &doktor kerana kita sentiasa memerlukan mereka.

kata-kata semangat from mama dearest

being a doctor is a 'fardhu kifayah'. its a BIG resposibility that i have to carry. amanah yg akan dipersoalkan di hari pengadilan kelak. insyaAllah, ill do my very best. i want to make changes in people's lives, for it has always been part of my dreams. i want to become a successful muslimah doctor with a holistic approach, insyaAllah. one fine day, shahira! doakan saya ya! =)

Pavlova.

2010-05-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

20 with love. thank you Allah. :))

these are made by shifaa dearest. thanx awk!

isnt she the sweetest thing. terharu!

they who came; shifaa, man, hyder, agy.
<3

turning twentyy.

my eldest sister's first attempt in baking cake. and it turned out awesome and yummylicious.
thank you dearest kakak! adik loves you!

birthday dinner with the loved ones, the complete Eleven. <3

i craved for Pavlova, and tadaa.. ;)

lotsa love!

the adorable creature! <3

Biarkan berlalu
Semua kepedihanmu
Lelapkan matamu
Biarkan mimpi membawamu
Ke mana kau mahu
Selamat malam

080510

2010-05-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

salam.
so, it was my birthday. the day im turning 20. as i grow older, a birthday is actually nothing really important to me. but maybe not to anyone else. i dont really mind if i dont get suprise party from the people i love, i dont mind if there are no birthday presents. i used to get all excited to all these things, but i can no longer feel the excitement. its true. no longer hoping. no longer waiting like how i used to back then. but i do believe, its the thought that counts. its the prayers from you people that i need. and i appreciate it when people remember. especially the one who are dear(s) and near to my heart. thats all. and the thing that i wont deny, i would get upset and a lil disappointed if these people forget. because i used to get warm wishes from these same people every year, which makes me feel that im always remembered. =)

alhamdulillah, Allah has granted most of my wishes. and I thank Allah for that. I keep on reminding myself, jadilah hamba-Nya yang sentiasa bersyukur kerana sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa memberikan yg terbaik utk hambaNya.
semoga dengan peningkatan usia, kt akan lebih dkt dgnNya, insyaAllah.

im grateful to be with my loved ones on the day im turning 20 since thats one of my wishes.
thanks to my family for always bringing out the best in me. i love you!

and the day im turning 20 is the day i shall remember forever for its the day one of wonderful and special people in my life returned to Allah. Allah loves him more. Al-fatihah.

the greatest of all.

2010-05-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

salam.
something really meaningful to share. took it from a junior, and it touches my heart deeply. sama-sama kita renungkan, insyaAllah. =)

Surat Sayang Dari ALLAH SWT

Saat kau bangun pagi hari, AKU memandangmu dan
berharap engkau akan berbicara kepada KU, walaupun
hanya sepatah kata meminta pendapatKU atau bersyukur
kepada KU atas sesuatu hal yang indah yang terjadi
dalam hidupmu hari ini atau kemarin .......

Tetapi AKU melihat engkau begitu sibuk mempersiapkan
diri untuk pergi bekerja ........
AKU kembali menanti saat engkau sedang bersiap, AKU
tahu akan ada sedikit waktu bagimu untuk berhenti
dan menyapaKU, tetapi engkau terlalu sibuk ..........

Disatu tempat, engkau duduk disebuah kursi selama
lima belas menit tanpa melakukan apapun. Kemudian
AKU
Melihat engkau menggeerakkan kakimu. AKU berfikir
engkau akan berbicara kepadaKU tetapi engkau berlari
ke telephone dan menghubungi seorang teman untuk
mendengarkan kabar terbaru.

AKU melihatmu ketika engkau pergi bekerja dan AKU
menanti dengan sabar sepanjang hari. Dengan semua
kegiatanmu AKU berfikir engkau terlalu sibuk
mengucapkan sesuatu kepadaKU.

Sebelum makan siang AKU melihatmu memandang
sekeliling, mungkin engkau merasa malu untuk
berbicara kepadaKU, itulah sebabnya mengapa engkau
tidak
menundukkan kepalamu.
Engkau memandang tiga atau empat meja sekitarmu dan
melihat beberapa temanmu berbicara dan menyebut
namaKU dengan lembut sebelum menyantap rizki yang
AKU
berikan, tetapi engkau tidak melakukannya ........
masih ada waktu yang tersisa dan AKU berharap engkau
akan
berbicara kepadaKU, meskipun saat engkau pulang
kerumah kelihatannya seakan-akan banyak hal yang
harus kau kerjakan.

Setelah tugasmu selesai, engkau menyalakan TV,
engkau menghabiskan banyak waktu setiap hari
didepannya,
tanpa memikirkan apapun dan hanya menikmati acara yg
ditampilkan. Kembali AKU menanti dengan sabar saat
engkau menonton TV dan menikmati makananmu tetapi
kembali kau tidak berbicara kepadaKU ..........

Saat tidur, KU pikir kau merasa terlalu lelah.
Setelah mengucapkan selamat malam kepada keluargamu,
kau melompat ketempat tidur dan tertidur tanpa
sepatahpun namaKU, kau sebut. Engkau menyadari bahwa
AKU selalu hadir untukmu.

AKU telah bersabar lebih lama dari yang kau sadari.
AKU bahkan ingin mengajarkan bagaimana bersabar
terhadap orang lain. AKU sangat menyayangimu, setiap
hari AKU menantikan sepatah kata, do'a, pikiran atau
syukur dari hatimu.

Keesokan harinya ...... engkau bangun kembali dan
kembali AKU menanti dengan penuh kasih bahwa hari
ini kau akan memberiku sedikit waktu untuk menyapaKU
........Tapi yang KU tunggu ........ tak kunjung tiba
...... tak juga kau menyapaKU.

Subuh ........ zuhur ....... Asar ...........
Maghrib .......... Isya dan Subuh kembali, kau masih
mengacuhkan AKU .....
tak ada sepatah kata, tak ada seucap do'a, dan tak
ada rasa, tak ada harapan dan keinginan untuk
bersujud kepadaKU ...........

Apa salahKU padamu ...... wahai hambaKU?????
Rizki yang KU limpahkan, kesehatan yang KU berikan,
harta yang KU relakan, makanan yang KU hidangkan,
anak-anak yang
KUrahmatkan, apakah hal itu tidak membuatmu ingat
kepadaKU ............ ..!!!!!!!

Percayalah AKU selalu mengasihimu, dan AKU tetap
berharap suatu saat engkau akan menyapa KU, memohon
perlindungan KU, bersujud menghadap KU ....... Yang
selalu menyertaimu setiap saat ..........

Note :
apakah kita memiliki cukup waktu untuk mengirimkan surat ini kepada orang2
yang kita sayangi???
Untuk mengingatkan mereka bahwa segala apapun yang kita terima hingga saat ini, datangnya hanya dari ALLAH semata ...

2010-05-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

salam..
i'm finally home, and officially on a month break. Alhamdulillah, everything went well, and i passed my very first professional exam. syukran. couldnt ask for more. thank you Allah for everything. =)

8 modules(2 years syllabus)+1 week revision+2 weeks of study weeks+3 days of exam+a day of waiting for results to be out = palpitation, tachycardia, enough to drive me up on the wall.
alhamdulillah everythin's over now, for the time being at least. its time to take a break. lets take a chill pill, people. pheww.

it really gave me a huge impact this time. nothin like stress. okay, tipu. i kept on telling myself that i'm forever stress-free, when it comes to exam and i never want to get stress especially when exams so freaking near. simply because everything starts to become all serabut the moment the stress is there. when people ask me whether i'm stress or tak, i would answer: its a choice to be stressful. you decide whether you want to be one or not! anyhoo,this time, its a really HUGE thing to me. its not a burden, but more to responsibilities that i've to carry. and this time, evrything changed. not only a pre-exam syndromes but also post-exam syndromes as well. the syndromes even persist through out the journey. sgt dasyat tak tipu.

everythins jumbled up.
candida albicans vs corpus albicans
tinea coli vs tinea solium
tunica vaginalis vs trichomonas vaginalis.
yadayadayada. its fun though. hilarious! gonna miss these precious moments, Big time!

glad its over. glad i managed to get thru it, with Allah's will, and with the help of others. and im sooo grateful and overwhelmed for having wonderful people in my life, my dearest family and friends and their never-ending support and prayers. seriously, i couldnt ask for more, dear Allah. thank you thank you thank you for everything. Alhamdulillah. =)

Al-Baqarah [152] Oleh itu ingatlah kamu kepadaKu (dengan mematuhi hukum dan undang-undangKu), supaya Aku membalas kamu dengan kebaikan dan bersyukurlah kamu kepadaKu dan janganlah kamu kufur (akan nikmatKu).

Al-Baqarah(186) "Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu (wahai Muhammmad) tentang Aku, (maka jawablah) sesungguhnya Aku ini dekat, Aku menjawab seruan orang yang berdoa kepadaKu apabila dia berdoa. Maka hendaklah dia menjawab seruanKu (menunaikan perintahKu) dan beriman kepadaKu, agar supaya mereka selalu berada di atas petunjuk”

to my dearest housemates, and study group mates(raden,tira, iylman, mel, muadz, naqib, desh), congratulations guys! glad we made it together. you people are the best! zillion thanks. you guys have been helping me a lot,hanya Allah yg dpt balas jasa korang. loves!

and to my other friends who didnt make it this time, best wishes to each of you. our prayers will always be with you, insyaAllah. we're rite behind you! :D

shall see you guys in june alryte. be prepared for another tough years ahead and welcome to CLINICAL YEARS. lets do this together! =)

p/s: khas utk kwn2 subang, dan sesiapa sahaja yg sedang berjuang utk final, buat elok2 kay. kt doakan korang, insyaAllah. selamat berjuang and cepatlah pulang semua orang. rindu please! *hugs*

the 'i' and the 'you' with 'they' in btwn.

2010-04-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

especially to 'they'..

K.E,A,R,I,M,Q!! its been 2 years. 2 freaking years, 'they'! but 2 years don't bring any, even slight lil changes to the 'i' and the 'you' where 'they' always play the biggest role in between. how funny when the two freaking years dont seem to mean anything at all but only 24 months. and the 'i' came to realise that there's forever dragonfly in the tummy. and no matter how ridiculous it might sound, reality bites sumhow. however, the 'i' so need to get back into reality. of melodrama, bittersweet symphony~ at the end of the day, its the story between the 'i' and 'you'. =)

and the rest is history..

covalent bond.

2010-04-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

my one and only mokna. =)

today, i realised my one and only baby sista who's always been pampered by her parents and siblings, who never got tired fullfilling all her wishes, high demand requests, cravings, etc and melayan kemanjaan baby girl yg sorang ni, who's even manja-er than the youngest in the family, adam, HAS FINALLY GROWN UP. my one and only nano, who's now getting mature, who has a clear vision of what she wants in her life, who has her own dreams to be fullfilled, and who wants to be independant, and stands on her own two feets, who no longer wants to be treated like a baby and who wants people around her to trust her own decisions in life. im proud of you, my dearest nano.

eventhough i'm miles away in ipoh, it's never easy for me to be separated from you. being the closest sis to me, the truth is its always hard for me to let you go. i still remember when you got the offer to further studies in boarding school, i was beyond words. yes, i was happy for you, but at the same, i never want you to leave me. it won't be the same without you, my dearest adik. and today, when you went to KTT, to continue with a-levels, again, im happy and proud of you. but its the feeling again and i hate it. i hate the fact that ur not at home anymo. if its hard for me, it must be even harder for those at home especially mama and adam. im gonna miss all the silly fights and quarrels you had with adam most of the time. and im glad im in ipoh cuz i dont think i can hold my tears inside, watching you leaving. i miss you already, lil sis. you're only in selangor, but i miss you this much already.tell me, how can i be miles away from you?

my baby boy and baby girl

its the emotional breakdown again. maybe because of the great and strong bond we have among us, the siblings. the same thing happened when ya left to further her studies in UNIMAS. maybe because ive been spending time with her for months before she left, and the next thing i knew, shes gonna leave me. its hard for me at first. i guess, its the matter of adapting and adjusting. at first, its gonna be awkward, and it takes me times to adjust and adapt myself. when one of them left, the loneliness starts to sink in. its never the same, and its never ever gonna be the same. because i simply love my family to bits and pieces. tell me who doesnt?

i guess im in the process of adapting. i have to. one day, they will leave. sooner or later, they will leave. people always leave. when my sisters get married, they gonna have their own families and they wont stay with us anymo. adam may be leaving for boarding school nx year, insyaAllah. and now, i'm missing each of you terribly.

mama,papa,yana,abg reza,dila,ida,ya,abe,nano,adam..
the complete Eleven.

rinduuu. =(((
*sigh*

my happy pills.

the three superheroes. <3

mama's daughters.

buah hati pengarang jantung

its all about eight.

the complete Eleven.

"father offers you advise like no other man can,
mother kisses you wounds that heal,
brothers will always be protective over you,
and sisters are forever supportive"

are you prepared enough?

2010-04-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to write a new post but since i was busy juggling myself with studies and due to the time factor, so yeah, i postponed. and i guess this is the rite time. this post is a reminder for myself, and for you out there, insyaAllah.

last sunday, while i was studying for EOM-BCS exam, which was on wednesday, i received a rather-shocking news. my housemate told me that one of our batchmates, MBBS 1B student met with a car accident and passed away. Ya Allah. i was like, "farah mane ni? awk sure ke? cuba confirm balik dgn org lain" within few minutes, the news were spread around so fast. facebook, msgs, and calls from our friends, and some of them were on their way to slim river where the accident took place. terdiam sekejap. i was trying so hard to digest everything in. couldnt believe it at first, tapi i accepted it later. ive just met her last friday, and now she's gone forever. innalillah. takdir Allah. sekelip mata je Allah boleh ambil apa yg Dia pinjamkan.

the following day, almost half of our batch went to penang to pay our last respect to Allahyarhamah. Alhamdulillah, sempat tgk jenazah and sempat solatkan jenazah, and baca yaasin. suasana sgt sayu masa tu. terimbau balik semua kenangan dgn arwah. semoga arwah pg menemui-Nya dengan tenang. jenazah dikebumikan di Baling Kedah. Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar, dan tahlil dijalankan rakan2 muslimat hr yang sama, and after exam.

honestly, were very much affected lepas arwah pg. terasa sgt kehilangannya walaupun we're not that close to her. in fact, exam kali ni rasa lain. terasa sayu sgt. lagi2 time exam, bila tgk kerusi sebelah kosong. tapi kami redha dgn pemergiannya Ya Allah. semoga dia ditempatkan bersama-sama orang2 yg beriman dan tenang di sisimu Ya Allah, insyaAllah.

to my dearest friend, farah diana, ill keep you in my heart forever and our memory remains forever, insyaAllah. our prayers will always be with you.

p/s: kt tak tau bila kt akan kembali kepada-Nya. ni mungkin masa dia, tapi masa kt? wallahu'alam. are we prepared enough for this?

i just cant imagine if dis happens to my loved ones. learn to appreciate ur loved ones while they're still around, because one day, they will be gone forever. each of us will return to Him. "trully to Allah we belong, and trully to Him shall we return. "

oleh itu, saya ingin mengambil kesempatan ini utk memohon seribu kemaafan kpd semua rakan-rakan sy dan org yg mengenali diri saya andai kata sy pernah melakukan sebarang kesalahan atau mengguris hati anda semua. sesungguhnya, sy hanya hamba Allah yg lemah penuh dgn kekhilafan. sama-sama la kt memaafkan, insyaAllah. =)

katakanlah, "sesungguhnya kematian yg kamu lari dari padanya, ia pasti menemui kamu, kemudian kamu akan dikembalikan kepada Allah, yang mengetahui yang ghaib dan yg nyata, lalu Dia beritakan kepadamu apa yang telah kamu kerjakan" (Al-jumu'ah:8)

"Dan Allah tidak akan menunda kematian seseorang waktu kematiannya telah datang. Dan Allah mahateliti terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan" (Al-munafiqun:11)

Maka nikmat tuhan manakah yang kamu dustakan?

emosi

2010-03-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

bila saya sedih, saya diam.
(saya lagi suka menangis sorang-sorang sebelum tido, biarlah orang tak nampak, tapi Allah tahu)

bila saya kecewa, saya diam.
(walaupun sebenarnya sangat sakit untuk simpan sorang-sorang, sy taknak org tahu, biarlah Allah yg tahu)

bila saya marah, saya diam.
(sebab saya tak suka lepaskan dkt org lain, sbb sy pon tak suka kalau orang marah-marah, biarlah Allah yang tahu perasaan saya)

bila saya kecik hati/ terasa, saya diam
(sbb sy taknak orang lain terkena tempiasnya, biarlah sy sakit sorang-sorang walaupun kadang-kadang sakitnya sampai ke ulu hati)

bila saya terasa sangat sakit dan lemah bila diuji dengan dugaan yg berat, saya diam.
(sbb sy tahu, saya sentiasa ada Allah walaupun orang lain mungkin tak mampu sentiasa bersama saya)

walaupun saya kadang-kadang tak mampu tersenyum, dan hanya mampu terdiam, biarlah Allah yang tahu perasaan saya yang sebenar.

walaupun orang selalu ckp saya sentiasa tak berperasaan,dan tak faham apa sebenarnya dalam hati saya, saya tak kisah. sbb hanya Allah yang tahu betapa berbaurnya hati dan perasaan saya.

walaupun saya memilih untuk diam, tapi tak bermakna hati dan perasaan saya boleh diremehkan. tak bermakna saya terima semuanya. dan tak bermakna saya boleh diperlakukan sesuka hati dan hanya perlu terus mengikut kehendak semua orang. kerana saya tak mampu.

mungkin kerana saya tak suka meluahkan. kerana itulah saya sebenarnya. walaupun kata orang meluahkan itu lebih lega, tapi saya tahu bukan senang bg seorang shahira anuar itu untuk meluahkan perasaan sebenarnya.

selagi sy masih mampu bertahan menyimpan segala jenis perasaan ini tanpa memudaratkan orang lain, sy akan teruskan. walaupun saya tak tahu sampai bila sy akan bertahan.

tapi saya takut...
sy takut suatu hari nanti sy tak mampu bertahan lagi. =(

Ya Allah, berikanlah hamba-Mu kekuatan dari-Mu.
Sesungguhnya, daripadaMu kami datang, dan kepada Mu jualah kami kembali.

“Tidaklah seseorang dikatakan pemberani dan kuat karena cepat meluapkan amarahnya, tetapi seseorang dikatakan pemberani dan kuat kalau mampu menguasai diri dan nafsunya ketika marah.”

“Dan bersegeralah menuju ampunan Allah dan surga yang luasnya seluas langit dan bumi yang dijanjikan untuk orang-orang yang bertakwa, (yaitu) orang-orang yang menafkahkan (hartanya), baik di waktu lapang maupun di waktu sempit, dan orang-orang yang mengendalikan amarah dan memaafkan (kesalahan) orang. Allah menyukai orang-orang yang berbuat kebajikan.” (Ali Imran [3]: 134)

21/02

2010-02-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Di saat kita berjauhan
Rasa ingin ku berlari
Mendakapimu penuh girang
Bak si kecil kehilangan

Kau insan penyayang
Betapa ku merindu
Lembutnya belaian ibu
Membuatku terlena.

mama, u'll always be the QUEEN of my heart. thanx for bringing us into this world. thank you Allah, for this beautiful gift. =)

Ya Allah, lindungilah ibuku di bawah lembayung rahmat-Mu. kasihanilah ibuku sebagaimana dia mengasihaniku sejak kecil. amin.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA. adik sayang mama banyak2. miss you so much ma! =(

there's no shorcut to the place worth going,

2010-02-08T02:22:00.000-08:00

salam.
080210
18.24 p.m

Nervous System Module is officially over. official as in,as a part of phase 1B syllabus, but definetely not the end of evrything since the system itself is sumthing crucial and i still think that we should have learned it earlier, meaning it should be part of 1A syllabus. baru lah nampak dunia and bole relate dgn semua system bila blaja CNS ni. its been a tough module, where it tested us mentally and physically with super packed schedule, additional subjects( general studies), and tonnes of workload. the best part is there was only one Histology class, which i kinda dislike since im not good at drawing, and its the last module with ILA,(more or less the same as PBL in ipta). ditambah pula dgn kejutan yg pelbagai, literally, which i consider as my very own personal problems. dugaan. despite its toughness, like really really susah dan complicated, surprisingly its the most interesting module ive learned so far. sgt suka module ni walaupun susah. dan walaupun selalu tachycardia especially during last ILA and exam module. just done with the end of module examination the previous week. the questions itself were quite tough and confusing. and so far, soalan exam yang paling aneh. agreed by everyone okay. im sure i did silly mistakes here and there, quite a lot sebenarnya tapi biarlah. wat is past has already past, and im pretty satisfied i did my very best till the end of it. a lil reminder for me, "Allah tak tgk keputusan yg kt dapat, tapi Allah pandang usaha kt" alhamdulillah, evrythin went well despite the ups and downs(studies wise and problems), and i managed to go thru it. thank you Allah. =)

the scalp incison: heart-shaped. =)

eversince i entered the medical school, ive always wanted to become a pediatrician. simply because i heart the kids too much. just cant resist them. anyway, after learning about the nervous system, especially when it comes to brain and anything related to it, i gave myself a second thought, why not become a neurosurgeon instead of pediatrician? mcm cool dan menarik, though its gonna be super tough. nothing is easy in this world, shahira anuar. lets think about this later when im already in the clinical years sbb barulah dpt rasa semua posting. anyway, a big warm welcome to the last module in phase 1B, Basic Clinical Science. how time flies so fast. lets rock it together, rakan-rakan. n oh, on the 26th of april, we're gonna sit for our very first professional exam. meaning, 8 modules from year 1 and 2 need to be covered. the marathon has just begun. tachycardia oh tachycardia. to my dearest batchmates, lets do our best for the upcoming module exam and final exam. say a BIG NO to supplement. to the rest as well, be it medical students or other courses, good luck. sama-sama kt doakan kejayaan semua, insyaAllah. :)

" Ya Allah, ajarkanlah kami bahawa belajar ini bukan kerana sesiapa tetapi hanya utkmu.
Belajar ini bukan untuk diri, bahkan utk seluruh umat rasulmu,
Belajar ini bukan utk saat ini bahkan utk sepanjang zaman.
Ajarkanlah kami apa-apa yang kami tidak tahu tentang ilmumu,
Ingatkan kami apa-apa yang kami lupa tentangmu,
Redhailah setiap langkah kami kerana kepadamu lah kami kembali"

"...dan janganlah kamu berputus asa daripada rahmat serta pertolongan Allah. Sesungguhnya tidak berputus asa daripada rahmat dan pertolongan Allah itu melainkan kaum yang kafir. " (surah yusuf 12:87)

rooftop rant.

2009-12-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

Uitm Shah Alam Rooftop.

20th floor.

sunset, while it was raining.

so there we were, watching Shah Alam view from above, the rooftop. one of batch's biggest request before she leaves. the best part, of course when it was raining. its been my favourite and will always be. there's always sumthin about the rain, there's always sumthin about watching rains falling down from the dark blue skies, for me at least. the-forever-turn-me-on.

and when the rain begins to fall,

you ride my rainbow in the sky,

and i will catch you if you fall,

you never have to ask me why,

nd when the rain begins to fall,

ill be the sunshine in your life.

almost complete. al, na, ja, pia, syam missing. i miss you. i do.

Lelaki Melayu Terakhir.

2009-11-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

5.36 a.m

Compared to the previous post which is rather motif-less to me and im sure to the readers as well, i think im writing this post with motif. heh. you tell me alryte.

lately it happened that i indulged myself in all sorts of male-female relationship(s) or more too, marriage likewise? you see, my sisters and cousins are getting married, anytime soon. sepatutnya lah kan, being the younger children in the family wont cause you any problem since u're the little one which means u dont really have to think much. but things turned out the other way round for me. (told u i think a whole lot of evrythin) nothing like 'gatal or nak kawin cepat' issues here. its more on the thinking. the way how i take it, and in this case, i do take it seriously. i admit that i dont think like the other teenagers do, sy slalu fikir terlampau jauh walaupun sebenarnya masih sgt muda. tapi tak kisahla, age doesnt count in.

the highlight of the story is not the wedding, btw. its gonna be abt the one ure gonna spend ur whole life with? and all of a sudden, there are too many 'what IF's'in my head. 'what if i make a wrong decision one day, what if i settle down with the wrong guy, and trust me, its a neverending list'. anyhoo, ignore the pessimistic part of it.

i'd like to be sumone wit full commitments. what im looking in a relationship is a simple relationship, yet with full commitments, and of course end up with marriage. i always have this perfect picture of who-so-ever whos gonna be my future husband. Of lelaki melayu terakhir. guys come and go but the real man will stay in the picture at the end of the day. tak salah kan if we could picture it by now?

i need a man who can guide me, who can change me into a better person. i always imagine a man who can be the perfect leader of the family. i dream of a man who can be my 'imam' with myself being a makmum, performing solat jemaah together. i dont need a man who is only good at words and do the sweet talks all the time but all i need is sumone who can make me think more
than twice whenever he starts to speak up, sumone who soothes my heart with hadith and dalil-dalil Qur'an when my world is turning upside down and the list goes on.

i need a man like papa. in fact, we all need a man like papa.

thats still a long long way to go, i'm sure. tapi mama slalu pesan, "kt kena selalu doa utk jodoh yg terbaik dari sekarang. bukan nak kahwin baru doa. mama selalu doakan jodoh yg terbaik utk anak-anak mama, bukan anyone yg specific for each of you because Allah knows best. Allah knows who's the best for you"

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu,dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.Allah mengetahui sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui"
(Surah Al-baqarah:216)

i cant dream of anyone else but sumone like papa as a future husband. tapi tu lah, its really hard to find. one in a million. evrytime if mama and papa gi makkah, we never failed to kirim doa and our favourite one will be, doakan ktorg dpt suami mcm papa, insyaAllah. :)

something to share(courtesy of aishah):

"Dengarilah sahabatku syg, Allah memujukmu, 'At-Toyyibat Littoyibin'-annur:26,
Wanita baik itu dijanjikan untuk lelaki yg baik dan sebaliknya. Telah tercatat seungkap nama di Loh Mahfuz utkmu. cuma peribadi ditentukan oleh sejauh mana ketinggian peribadimu. Jika kau terhambat di jalan yg diredhai, insyaAllah si dia turut sama. Lupakan segala kegundahan, teguhkan diri pada cinta hakiki,nescaya cinta si dia yg soleh turut kau miliki. Senyumlah pada sinar yg menantimu."

deep, yet a meaningful one. =)

yes, we were jobless.

2009-11-11T07:53:00.001-08:00

and yes, we've gone crazy over those seluar kotak-kotak which me thinks are super duper adorable.kann? ;p

dear bestfriend.

2009-11-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

Thank God I found you,
I was lost without you,
My every wish and every dream,
Somehow became reality,
When you brought the sunlight,
Completed my whole life,
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude,
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you.

p/s: our favourite since like forever! :D

i tried writing a poem for you.

i even ask the stars at night and the sweet defodils,
then i ask the sunshine and the moonlite on what i should write,
they smile to me and left me in wonders.
i thought for hours until i finally figure it out,
but all i could only write was 3 words.
'i miss you'

random.

2009-11-01T08:05:00.001-08:00

this is a random post. i need to rant, but i guess im not used to it anymo.

i need to tell, or at least say sumthin, but at the end of the day, nothin will come out from moi, like usual.

humans are fuelled by lust and desire, its so freaking true, no?

i never take things lightly, and i think a whole lot of evrything in the most complicated way.
at least before im off to bed, i need to think, like really really think.

the probability for me to miss sumone whenever the rain falls down is high, i tell you. and i have to double agree with myself. thats when the memoirs come along too. *sighhh*

i miss travelling, BIG time. being a traveller is a major fun. there's sumthin about it. i wish i could travel all around the world by myself, one fine day. one fact about me, im not a fan of shopping. i dont shop like the other girls normally do. i'd rather go to places where the view are naturally breathtaking,where i would just sit queitly and stare at its best. it would be more than enough for me. its a theraphy, of tranquility. :)

im on my one week break. done with endocrine exam. SSM's comin up. take a chill pill, yaw.
im off to melaka tomorow morning. need the new air. was literally half 'insane' and i have to keep myself sane again. heh.

off to bed now, righteo?
nightey, dont let the bed bugs bite alryte. :D

2009-10-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

27/9/09:

As the bus was about to begin the journey;
1 message received:

kakak: Sedih =( bubbye adikto. Love u!
adik: Bye2. Love you three.

........................................................................

an hour later:
kakak: I miss you so much la berra. Sdey. =(
adik: whyla.
kakak: Sdeyla. We didnt really spend time 2gether.
adik: haiyo. whyla so emo.
kakak: Dunno. feel like crying. huhu.
adik: haila. chill la mokcik.

As I was browsing thru fb:
Adam Anuar: boring adik takde.dahla kak ya balik hari selasa :(
Aliaa Anuar: MISSES ADIK ALREADY. =(
Adila Anuar: yeah,miss adik too
Hidayah Anuar: me three =<

Muhd Faiz: me 4 bleh?

dats when i realised my eyes started to become all teary.
to kakak: tell me where can i find another kakak who bersusah payah uruskan my laptop when i definetely knew nothing about it and said to me "anything for you, adik", who brought back books all the way from swak just because i wanted em so badly, and bought them some more and wrapped it up when i kept on bugging u to buy me those books, who kept on texting and calling me while im in ipoh just to ask me how am i doing and to make sure im coping well with the studies and exams, although i neglected u most of the time and didnt really show u how i care for u.

this is for u, ya mok2, i loveeeeeeeeeeeee youuu banyak2. hee. jgn homesick2 dkt sana. less than a year left and ull be back for good. chaiyok2. and also to my other siblings. u guys have always been my favourites and will always be. aint no other. kekuatan saya! :)

La Tahzan.

2009-09-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

"Bila kau memandang segalanya dari Tuhanmu,
yang menciptakan segalanya,
yang menimpakan ujian,
yang menjadikan hatimu sakit,
yang membuatkan keinginanmu terhalang dan menguji hidupmu,
pasti akan damailah hatimu kerana masakan Dia sengaja mentakdirkan segalanya sesuatu
yang sia-sia,
bukan Dia tidak tahu deritanya hidupmu, retaknya hatimu,
tapi mungkin itulah yang Dia mahu,
kerana Dia tahu hati beginilah yang selalunya lebih lunak dan mudah utk dekat dan akrab
dengan-Nya."

p/s: thanx mel. it helps a lot.

O'Allah, i need you. please come into my heart. aminn.

please be strong. Allah is wit u, always. =)

2009-08-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

Dear friend,

please be strong and hang in there. i know u're such a fighter, azwan. looking at ur condition yesterday has put me into tears, but miracle happens anytime, God is great. i'm wishing for ur speedy recovery. our prayers will always be with you. please wake up, dear friend. ur family and friends are all waiting for you. everybody loves you. u'll make it thru, insyaAllah. may Allah bless you. amin.

p/s: we need your prayers, people. thank you.

jupiter. <3

2009-08-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

ignore the title of this post anyway. it has got nothin to do wit the post but it surely has its own significance. :)

Langkawi trip was simply the best. the crowd, the place, the view, semua lah=awesome-est. Big thanks to my dearest kakak, ekin, shidot,izyan, usman, razi, safwan and org2 penting who made it, and also to the whole bunch as well, korg sgt best. :D

hopefully nx time, semua dpt join, n im sure its gonna be fun, the more the merrier ritee?

not planning to tell the details about the whole journey, cuz i'm sure its gonna be pretty long, BUT here are some details about the trip and let the pics do the rest. pics say it all kan? for more pics, tgk dkt fb k?

Theme song: Kau Ilhamku. :)

Day 1: arrived Chenang Rest House at around 6 p.m, beach activities, later at night we went for a walk along the night market,followed by guitar session near the beach.

Day 2: wanted to watch the sunrise but guess we're late although it was only 7 sumthin in the morning. sgt hampa but still menaruh harapan for the next day. heh. went for Island Hopping, the part I like the most. first stop, Tasik Dayang Bunting,where most of us took a ride on paddle boats around the lake. nicee. were then headed for Pulau Singa n last but not least, Pulau Beras Basah. after lunch we went to Underwaterworld sbb semua semangat tgk penguin. chomel gile k.
Later in the evening, Banana Boat timee, n oh, Ijol, raden and I did parasailing. the view from above during sunset was really fascinating. sgt terpaku tgk, sgt indah ciptaan tuhan. Subhanallah.

malam pulak sesi Bbq. the food was good, and we totally enjoyed the nite. thanx rakan2. another guitar session was made, took a walk along the beach wit shifaa, ekin n caien while melayan perasaan. gonna miss dat moment, Big time. :) sambung pulak dgn sesi teka-teki and it was hilarious, i tell u. keke Usman, si juara teka-teki. *claps*

Day 3: went for a walk in the morning. again, didnt get to watch the sunrise. *sigh* but it was sooooo windy. cuaca yg sempurna, me likey. teehee. went to Beras Terbakar and Pekan Kuah, tapi syg tak dpt naik cable car bcause of the weather. takpelah, nx time. ready to go home, had to go thru another longggg journey and I didnt sleep at all thru out the journey(in the bus) sbb sgt restless but not in the ferry sbb i was too drowsy, am sure everyone else did. thats about it. :)

trully,madly,deeply,

p/s: no mo waking up to the sound of waves. *sighh*, but I had enough of travelling. Kelantan, Sabah and Langkawi are definetely sweet moments to remember. :)

bubble tea!

2009-07-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Issues.

1)I'm craving for bubble tea badlyyyyyy. I want bubble tea, pretty please? kenapa kempunan sgt ni. haiyo. and why is it so hard to find one in Ipoh.

2)Why is it so hard to get things off my mind and why cant I just close my eyes and sleep?

3)Bulan sgtt indah mlm ni. :))

4)Hujan rintik-rintik. me likey.

5)I'm soooo into Karambunai. me definetely has no idea, but there's definetely sumthin about it.

6)Ive been thinking a lottttttt through out the day. why oh whyy. thinking with real deep thoughts pulak tuh. pastu mula lah melayan perasaan. not good. hobi yg sudah sekian lama tidak
diamalkan.

7)"I've got my pride, I'll not cry, but its making me weak". something is distracting me again. go away, oh please.

8)I shoudnt get distracted sepatutnya. shud have done wit Dyspepsia. ILA oh ILA..

9)Me thinks 2nd year topics are tougher than first year syllabus.

10)Say hello to my new BUDDY. :))

11)Feels better after talking to maliq today, annis semalam. sy perlu membebel utk tidak terus berfikir. :)

12) Cant wait to go homeee. Friday, it is. It is Friday, I'm in love. whatever yeah.

11)Might be going to Langkawi. bole pg beach lagi. yeay. :))

My housemates are away, now you know why I sounded so pathetic kan. patut lahhh.
Loneliness starts to sink in. I miss home, I miss Adam and Nano, I miss starlight, I miss Annis Natalia, I miss some people.

Since when, shahira?

Stand by me.

you're my wonderwall.

2009-07-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

current mood: emosi+kemalasan yg nyata.

its been ages since i last updated my blog, i know riteee. the thing is, ive been too bz, making full use of 2 months hols n cant believe its gonna end soon. nak cuti lagi boleh? serious mcm tak sempat merasa bosan cuti ni. in fact, tak terasa nak balik ipoh langsong. weirdo. anyhoo, sila berpijak di bumi yg nyata. say goodbye to phase IA n welcome to phase IB. fuhh.

i had a quality time wit the loved ones. in fact, am pretty satisfied that i finally had the chance to meet some of my pasum friends, and my subang friends as well. bbq was awesome, thank you people. *thumbs up* at least i don't feel guilty for not being able to spend time with you people. hope to see you again, especially u, pia. harap2 dpt jumpe before awk fly.
to my dearest annis, thanks for the time. seriously sgt happy dpt jumpe awk cuti nih. i love you more. hee. :))

oh btw, sabah trip was a blast, i must say. priceless experience! gonna update soon. thanks to my partner, shifaa dear. see u in ipoh aite?

sgtttt sedih nak berpisah dgn family. tapi ipoh je ponn. mayb sbb cuti lame sgt kot. gonna miss u, adik-adikku, and the rest. BIG time. loves.

cuz maybe,
you're gonna be the one that saves me,
and after all,
you're my WONDERWALL.

ohana.

2009-06-15T05:17:00.000-07:00

i actually did this, long long time ago...

no more.

2009-05-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

i aint affected. fullstop.

i'm doing just fine.
getting along very well.

premis 1: shahira anuar sudah tidak rapuh lagi.

premis 2: shahira anuar tidak terkesan olehnya.

konklusi: shahira anuar tidak terkesan olehnya maka beliau sudah tidak rapuh lagi.

exactly.
coolness ay. bravo anda, bravo. *claps*

simple reminder.

2009-05-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

"finally, u've reached your final lap. sikit je lagi. you're gonna make thru it, alryte." sumone used to tell me that. at that very moment, i told myself, sikit je lagi, bertahan shahira, bertahan. but dat was few years ago. i always thought i was at the end of the road, sampai jugak akhirnya. tapi, as years passing by, and at this point,i know the journey has just started. infact,only few simple footsteps were made. still a very longg long wayy to go, yes indeed. thank you Allah that ive made thru it. thank you ma and pa, sentiasa doakan adik. and to evryone else, thank you for the never ending support and prayers. :)

Dear Shahira Anuar,
this is not your achievement, nothing to be proud of, nothing to be boast about.

"Ya Allah, engkau hadir dalam setiap langkah hidupku. Sesungguhnya, aku yakin sesuatu yang berlaku itu dengan kekuasaan-Mu dan keizinan-Mu jua. Semua ini milik mu Ya Allah. Jadikanlah aku hamba-Mu yang bersyukur, yang tidak pernah lupa akan nikmat-Mu. Sesungguhnya kekuatan dalam diri ini hanya dari-Mu, Ya Allah.
thank you Allah."

Kadang-kadang kita terduduk dan menangis, sehingga merasakan diri ini terlalu lemah. ujian demi ujian, tapi semua itu datang dari Allah.
tapi yakinlah, Allah sentiasa ada bersama kita.

Never in my life, im giving up on myself. i believe in faith, i believe in Allah, wit dat i know there's no reason for you to give up. everyone deserves a second chance, faith is all you need.

A year has passed by, wit many more to come. be strong shahira, you're gonna make it thru it all, insyaallah.
welcome to phase IB. :)

for those who didn't make it, be strong. bukan rezeki lagi.
sumthin for you, hopefully it helps.

Allah S.W.T has 3 replies to our Dua:
1)'Yes'
2)'Yes' but not now.
3) I have better plan for you.
there's never a NO. just have faith and keep on praying.

we're with you, always. good luck. :)

2009-04-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

for the past 7 days in a row; more or less, i had dis terrible nightmare. bukan nightmare dah kot. daymare skali. is there such word? heh. its like, everytime i sleep, be it day or night, even when i took a short nap pon bole mimpi teruk. gotta figure out why. tapi evrytime before tido mesti baca doa and basuh kaki. but still, mimpi teruk jugak. teruk or a real weird dream, its a must. those dreams were so real that sumtimes,i couldnt wake myself up, or unable to get back to sleep, either one.

sampai to the extent i could feel dat i was forcing myself so hard to open up my eyes simply because i want to end those dreams. physically, mentally, emotionally tired. i can feel the strong, unpleasant, mixed-up emotions all over me. pernah one day, i woke up shockingly and terus terduduk and cried as hard as i could. everytime lepas bangun, praise be to Allah, those were only dreams. Alhamdulillah.

Musculoskeletal-Skin System exam is over but dis time, its not the usual relieved feeling after exam, instead, perasaan yg tidak enak menanti Final Of Phase 1A exam. sindrom pra peperiksaan major.

note to myself: please please please study.
note to rakan2 serumah: selamat berjuang rakan-rakanku. we'll do this together.
and to the the rest, chaiyok2. ; )

tirot, shirot, dibot, radenot/dinot, silot.

note to Lulu and Tobby: mummy will b away for a while. duduk elok2 dgn silot k?

hmm, bunga dah layu pon. tak pandai jaga.

sebelum layu.

2009-03-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

would i be out of line, if I say i miss you?

.............................
........................................
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...............................................
.....................................................
.........................................................
.................................................................
.....................................................................

i wonder why. now i know, its raining outside. thats about it. enough. yerp.

its been raining heavily, day and night. tp takpe. sy tak kisah. sy suka. :)
and guess wat, we were playing happily in the rain. main hujan tak ingat. the thing dat ive always wanted to do. try it, its fun tau. pastu pening, pastu sakit tekak, padan muka. heh.

yesterday i was a princess,
today i am back into reality.

i'm still confused, but watever it takes, i'll take one step at a time, slowly, i will.

he played few songs wit his guitar for me.
and you even sang kan? eheh.
lemme tell you that u've made my day, so thank you.
:D

.............................
........................................
.................................................
..........................................................

can i still be princess tomorrow?

goodbye.

2009-03-08T16:57:00.001-07:00

hazman will b flying off to germany soon to further his studies.
bye-bye hazman hilmi.
take care and best wishes in evrythin you do aite. :)

reminiscing the memories.

2009-02-28T07:35:00.000-08:00

2007, Dewan Tunku Chanselor, Universiti Malaya(Orientation week);

"Hye, name awk ape? sy shahira, ni roomate sy"
with a pure innocent face, she smiled and replied, "sy aishah"
"awk duduk floor mane?"
"sy duduk tingkat 3, blook D"
"eh, samela kt, bilik no brape?" "307"

dats how it started. coincidentally, kt duduk satu floor kan? kt, 301, awk n mira, 307. then, since dat, start baik. pg lecture, mkn sume skali(dat time tak separate class lg). the day mira lost her hp which is a long story, remember makcik kerepek? we all got closer kan? as the time passed by, the real you revealed. mmg salah gle first impression towards awk? at least, not me alone yg fikir mcm tu kan? ahah. aishah, aishah.. definetely sumone who is very unique indeed, and unpredictable too. tp sbb perangai awk yg pelik tu lah yg lg bwat kt rapat. saying sumthin sweet to you is definetely pelik. being mushy wit you lagi laa tak. mcm geli kan? in fact, since kat pasum pon gune "daku anda", tak pon "wa, lu". tp dgn lu sorg je la mek. sbb lu satu2nye makhluk pelik yg wa pernah jumpe kat muka bumi ni. so, lets just proceed wit dis. wa dpt bygkan ur facial expression tatkala you read dis. mesti rase cam nak blasah wa kan, like u used to do back in pasum. tp too bad lah, lu jauh. ;p mek, sejak kt da terpisah antara 2 benua ni, da xde org melakukan keganasan terhadap wa, sbb lu xde. aman. tp kadang2 rindu gak. sbb lu sorg je suke bully wa mcm tu. kat pasum dulu pon, sume org kesian tgk wa asyik kene bully dgn lu, nasib kak emi suke back up wa. n nasib gak wa baikkk. heh. wa ingat lg dulu lu suke sgt cari gado dgn wa. wa pon x faham. tgk org lain mane ade lu bully. enggak fair dong. daku tidak faham anda.

you see, we've known each other only within short period of time. approximately a year. but it seems like i've known you since like forever. and the truth is, you're the only person who know me even more than i do. funny ay. mayb sbb first time in my life, i live wit sumone else, other than my very own family. even my subg friends yg dah knal for how many years pon, still don't discover many things about me. anda? sume baik buruk daku pon anda da tgk kan. heh. its simply because we lived together for a year. susah senang same2. jiwang lak daku. xpela, alang2 da jiwang, baik daku teruskan je.

i could still remember all those sweet and bitter moments we've gone thru together, i mean all of us back in pasum. but most of em were the sweet moments. but among all, you're the closest to me. sampai diorg pon panggil kembar. kembar x seiras, definetely but many similarities and the strong bond btwn us. di mane ade aishah, di situ ade shahira, or vice versa. heh. gado2 slalu pon, lu jugak yg wa cari. lu faham2 je wa kan. wa ingat lagi, lu balik2 class je, mesti jenguk bilik wa. and evrytime habis class sure akan msg ke, beli mknn skali, and wa mesti suro lu teman wa mkn. sbb lu tau wa mmg x bole mkn sorg2. pastu wa pon akan cite pape yg berlaku n lu dgr. walaupon lu suke membebel, tapi lu slalu dgr dgn sabar kalau wa membebel kan. pagi2 weekend mesti kt akan turun cafe bfast, dgn kak emi n yg lain. port lepak utama, tasik KK12. aaa. rinduu. pastu wa ingat lagi mase u were so into PP "F". wa pon same, tp x dasyat mcm lu la. pastu one fine nite, emo, duduk dkt balcony dgr lagu mltr. funny you. tp tu mase first sem. second sem da tak. kisah "riri' pulak. another hilarious, and never-ending story. kalau ingat balik, wa terharu sgt with ur full support and pengorbanan lu. lu x pernah bosan dgn cite2 wa, n lu lyn je kan. kalau mlm je, wa dgn lu slalu x keruan lah. mcm2. pastu mule lah, "aishah, jom teman kt turun jalan2 amik angin dkt bwh, kt mcm tgh x btol". lu pon slalu mcm tu gak. pastu mlm2 we both wandering around tanpa arah tuju, melayan perasaan masing2. daku ingat sume tu. kalau tgh hujan mlm2, wa lagi la. ape lg, aishahhh... eheh.

dulu wa kalau sakit, lu jugak yg detect dulu, sampai kadang2 wa x sedar pon wa x sihat or x okay. ingat lagi mase rubella, after balik2 dr surau solat subuh, lu dtg bilik wa, lu tgk wa lain mcm, lu terus dtg dkt wa. "shira,awk demam ke? muke awk nampak lain". "ehh, panas ni, sy rase awk demam la, x pyh pg class la hr ni" few hours later wa dtg bilik lu, wa ckp x sedap badan, muke wa da merah2 n bengkak. ingat lg lu ckp lps lecture pg tu, lu balik kolej nak teman wa pg clinic. lu risau mase tu. tu mase rubella. mase wa sakit 'aneh' yg first time detected dkt pasum pon, lu yg perasan dulu. muke wa mcm alien mase tu. mate merah2 sume. lu ingat wa nangis. tp tak. paling daku terharu, your sincerity towards me. and i know u cared. daku ingat lagi mcm mane anda jage daku mase daku sakit. sakit as in 'sakit'. anda tau kan? daku pernah cite dkt anda sorg je kwn pasum daku, until one day you and the rest witnessed it during sleepover at my place. since dat, anda slalu jage daku. if sumthin happened, you informed my family. and daku ingat lagi,dis one time, yg anda dgn daku tak okay for few days, lepas tu daku 'sakit'. they told me you were so worried abt me. daku balik rumah mase tu. balik2 tu, kakak daku ckp, "sweetnye aishah td". daku ingat, anda dtg baring sbelah daku dgn telekung anda, "shira, awk okay ke?" since dat, kalau daku nampak lain mcm je anda tanye okay ke x. anda slalu dtg bilik daku to check on me. there was dis one day, daku pernah ckp daku x sedap hati, and x boleh solat. anda dtg bilik daku, anda tanye, "nak sybacekan manzil utk awk?" seriously aishah, you're the sweetest thing.

kalau daku nak cite sume bende yg anda bwat utk daku, xkan habis. terlalu byk. n i'm too grateful knowing sumone like you in my life. u've changed me into a better person. byk daku blaja dr anda, n yg lain. sejak knal anda daku jd baik sikit. huhu. i learnt how to become a better muslimah, etc. sejak knal anda n mira jugak, br daku dgr n lyn nasyid. eheh. daku rindu sume kenangan. daku rindu nak solat jemaah dgn anda n yg lain, solat terawih same2, bukak puase n sume tu. byk sgt yg daku rindu. paling daku rindu, nak gado dgn anda mcm dulu. heh. u've always been there for me, aishah. always. mayb daku dulu x pernah ckp sumthin like dis to you. sbb daku dgn anda due2 pon ego kan. tp daku syg anda. habis2 pasum, anda la org paling daku rindu. dulu, anda slalu dgr cite daku. daku susah nak cite dkt org lain. anda tau sume bende psl daku. daku rase xde pon yg anda xtau. sume bende psl daku, and kisah lampau daku anda tau. anda ingat tak ade satu hari, daku teringat sgt sumone yg da lame gle x contact n lost contact, anda tlg daku. sbb anda la daku dpt contact dgn die till now. dulu daku ingat lg sume kwn daku mcm kwn anda. hp daku pon slalu dgn anda n mira. msg kwn daku anda yg reply. pasal Mr. H lagila, anda n mira mmg jobless. habis2 pasum, daku rase eneh. sbb anda da xde dgn daku. anda jauh. daku da xtau nak membebel dkt sape anda. sampai evryday kt msg n gayot kan. padahal daku bukan suke gayot pon anda. tp dgn anda, daku bole habiskan credit mcm tu je. rase mcm byk je bende nak cite dkt anda. daku happy lepas pasum daku dpt balik klantan, n stay rumah anda. last raye pon, daku sgt2 excited dpt jumpe anda kejap lepas terawih dkt kelantan. jodoh kt mmg kuat aishah. eheh.

skrg anda jauuhh. daku sedih. tp xpe, anda slalu dgn daku. sampai skrg pon anda slalu dgn daku. thanx anda. anda x pernah tinggalkan daku. walaupon anda dkt sabah n daku dkt ipoh, tp kt still rapat mcm dulu. jumpe je tak. kisah daku dr daku awl2 dtg ipoh sampai la skrg anda tau. and dgn anda je daku bole gayot for few hours utk membebel. sbb anda je yg btol2 faham daku, and sume yg daku lalui selame ni. daku tau, daku da xkan jumpe another you in the future. u're too precious to me. daku tau anda mesti tak sangke daku bole ckp mcm ni. mayb sbb daku x pernah mcm ni dgn anda before dis kan. one thing you have to know, the more i care about sumone, the harder it is for me to express me. simply moi. jd, anda tau kan anda org penting. cheh. daku tibe2 geli. i know u're reading dis aishah, and uve been my silent reader yg mmg suke bace je n x suke comment. heh.

"dgn gue lu x pyh tipu la. org lain lu boleh la tipu"-aishah.
i know you know me well, n i cant hide anythin from you.
thanx for evrythin makciks. anda kekuatan daku tau?

last but not least, happy sweet 2oth bday makciks. how i wish i could celebrate wit you, and dpt menjalankan idea-idea kejam. heh. take care of dat lil teddy.

yang jauh di mata, shahira. ;)

birthday and birthday.

2009-02-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

21 February 2009:
Location: Eastin Hotel.
happy bday mamito! had a great great time wit familia. aint no other. :D

7 February 2009:
Location: rumah no 31.
happy bday to my one and only roomie, raden. dis time, its a lil bit diff from the previous bday(s). we decided to make a simple, but sweet bday surprise rather than main kotor like we used to do. took us some time to think and we ended up wit dis. pnat jugak fikir utk sorg2 punye surprise, after one n another.

3 February 2009:
Location: Padang depan rumah fika+syida.
Happy bdayy to our so-called mummy, sarah.
A definetely unforgettable bday. we had soo much fun and main tak ingat dunia. lagi2, when it comes to game yg ntah pape-tapi fun-tapi susah woo-dann sgt memalukan. highlight of the day, berjaya pujuk n suap sarah mkn oreo yg berintikan kodomo lion. too bad lah kan. ;p
apabila PPG, GBS n GLB bersatu, make the perfect us. :)

29 January 2009:
Location: Bora Asmara.
Happy bday to my dearest kakak whos turning 25. a memorable one, i could say. unexpected nite, wit the live band performing n also clown. happy to see you happy. :D

same day,
Location: Red Box, mini playground unisel.
Happy bday to batch. Had a karaoke session wit the gurls, then we went to Unisel to fetch mimi then lepak then camwhoring, as usual. sgtt gembira pada hari itu. thanx kwn2.:))

selamat ulang tahun, mama.

2009-02-21T07:26:00.000-08:00

happy birthday mama.

you were my strength when i was weak,
you were my voice when I couldn't speak,
you were my eyes when I couldn't see,
you saw the best there was in me,
lifted me up when I couldn't reach,
you gave me faith cause you believed,
I'm everything I am,
Because you loved me.

"mama sayang adik muco muco, byk2 mcm bintang, bulan, gunung n matahari. jaga diri ok.
luv u"

adik sygggg mama lagi banyak dan banyak dan banyakk lagi.
love u ma, always. <33

update.

2009-02-19T11:17:00.000-08:00

1.45 a.m: finally, safely arrived home sweet home.

3.18 a.m: rasa aneh, dan janggal. its been a whilee kann. wanted to update my blog, tapi kesibukan melanda. sorry to those people, that ive been ignoring for the past few weeks, without any intention. maaf kalau rase terabai. tidak sengaja. bukan purposely tak reply msgs n such, but there were some reasons needless to b mentioned here.
my life has been a roller-coster ride for the past weeks, yet im still living a happy life. thank god.

enough of dat. siapa rindu sy? angkat tgn. heh. tauu ramai. bukan perasan, but i have prove tauu. ;p (na, ur one of them kan?) crappy moi. br habis CVS exam, mcm ni lah gayanya. heh.

sy adaaa banyakkk benda nak ckp. nak bgtauu. bykk sgtt. n dats the prob when u have so many things to tell, u dunt even know how to start it. problematic. paling penting anda, im homeeeeee. super duper gembira. in fact, dah berapa hari mcm teringat rumah. mcm memanggil-memanggil. ini bukan homesick. because im not the homesick type. trust me. cuma rinduuuu ma n pa. n nano n adam. my lil babies. ye lah, tak jumpe lg since balik umrah. :((

i want to update the bday(s) of the month, tapi tunggu bday ma dulu. mama's bday coming up real soon. yeayness. and we might go to pd or another unknown place dis weekend, either one. tak kisah. yg penting, complete set of us. bilangan ahli keluarga cukup, check-mate. perfecto. =)

will update more later yea? i shud get some sleep. tak cukup tido sbenarnye. mentally and physically tired.

awk suka saya tapi saya suka dia, tapi dia tak suka saya, jadi saya suka awk balik.
dia suka saya tapi saya tak suka dia, tapi awk ada, tapi saya tak tau.

some crappy stuff. nytey nite. sleep tight.

Love Letters Compilation.

2009-02-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

i believe, sumthin is not right.

my very own theraphy

When we want to talk to ALLAH,we pray and say prayers.
When we want to hear ALLAH talk to us, we read The Holy Al-Qur'an,
God's Love Letters Compilation is the best balm, given at any time.

Verily in the remembrance of ALLAH do hearts find rest.

O' Allah, I need you.

she was you.

Awak.

...

Bulatan Gembira.

The cure of pain.

When the Sun Sets.

Sweet Lavender

ambiguity

The bliss and beauty.

Just like a song

atypical

Runaway train

The sweet 21.

fast car

the sound of music.

the weapon.

heartache.

thyphoid vs thyphus.

daddy's little girl

bonheur

i'll be.

Mr. H

i know i'm a medical student when I....

goodbye.

nyata dan maya.

:)

midst of midnight

perfect theraphy,

come rain,come shine.

serenity

sunshine

Sadesvaran Muniandy Had a short trip wit OSG mates from Coll to UO then to Masjid Parking. Looking forward for the next trip. Thanx to Mr Heavy Rain - Aseerah Ahmad, Shahira Anuar, Rd Ai'nulkhair and Muadz Mohtar and Mealiella Omar.

dyspnea

horizontally vertical.

A Gritos de Esperanza

you.

dancing in the rain. =)

megalomaniac.

stand by me

goodbye Medicine.

Oh monday blues.

unnamed feeling.

pride and dignity

210710

best of you.

starlight starbright

sempurna. =)

"Orang yang sedangmenjenguk (melawat) orang sakit.Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda,maksudnya: "Tidaklah seorang mukmin menjenguk saudaranya kecualiAllah akan mengutus 70,000 malaikat untuknya yang akan berselawatkepadanya di waktu siang hingga petang dan di waktu malam...hingga... Subuh."

khas utk awk

Sahabat yang beriman ibarat mentariyang menyinar. Sahabat yang setia bagai pewangi yang mengharumkan.Sahabat sejati menjadi pendorong impian. Sahabat berhati mulia membawakita ke jalan Allah.

medical remedy.

Berkata Imam Shafie "tidak aku melihat ilmu yg paling afdhal selepas mana ilmu syariah spt mana ilmu perubatan. Jika ingin berpindah ke suatu kawasan tentukan ada 2 golongan iaitu ulama &doktor kerana kita sentiasa memerlukan mereka.

*kata-kata semangat from mama dearest*

Pavlova.

080510

the greatest of all.

the 'i' and the 'you' with 'they' in btwn.

covalent bond.

are you prepared enough?

emosi

21/02

there's no shorcut to the place worth going,

rooftop rant.

Lelaki Melayu Terakhir.

yes, we were jobless.

dear bestfriend.

random.

La Tahzan.

jupiter. <3

bubble tea!

you're my wonderwall.

ohana.

no more.

simple reminder.

goodbye.

reminiscing the memories.

birthday and birthday.

selamat ulang tahun, mama.

update.

Love Letters Compilation.

Sadesvaran Muniandy
Had a short trip wit OSG mates from Coll to UO then to Masjid Parking. Looking forward for the next trip. Thanx to Mr Heavy Rain - Aseerah Ahmad, Shahira Anuar, Rd Ai'nulkhair and Muadz Mohtar and Mealiella Omar.

"Orang yang sedang
menjenguk (melawat) orang sakit.Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda,
maksudnya: "Tidaklah seorang mukmin menjenguk saudaranya kecuali
Allah akan mengutus 70,000 malaikat untuknya yang akan berselawat
kepadanya di waktu siang hingga petang dan di waktu malam...hingga
... Subuh."

Sahabat yang beriman ibarat mentari
yang menyinar. Sahabat yang setia bagai pewangi yang mengharumkan.
Sahabat sejati menjadi pendorong impian. Sahabat berhati mulia membawa
kita ke jalan Allah.

Berkata Imam Shafie "tidak aku melihat ilmu
yg paling afdhal selepas mana ilmu syariah spt mana ilmu perubatan. Jika ingin berpindah ke suatu kawasan tentukan ada 2 golongan iaitu ulama &doktor kerana kita sentiasa memerlukan mereka.

kata-kata semangat from mama dearest